Adjustments
by Eris not Eros
Summary: A story based primarily on Jane and Alec in modern times, and an OC named Axl. This piece of fanfiction is based more on a roleplay game I am part of rather than the twi-verse itself. Written by Eris.
1. Chapter 1

**Adjustments**

**This piece of fanfiction is based more on a roleplay game I am part of rather than the twi-verse itself. If you're reading this, you should be okay not knowing what went on in the RP, but it helps if you did follow it.**

For those of you who don't follow the OC-RPG, here's a quick recap:  
><em>Axl Drake (non-canon) is a 14 year old vampire, who fell in love with Jane of the Volturi (canon). He was being a bit of an ass to the Volturi so Alec, Demetri and Afton (canons) took it upon themselves to blackmail Axl for Jane's sake so that he wouldn't do something stupid enough to get himself killed. Aro eventually stepped in and called off the blackmail (which was an empty threat anyway), but he warned Axl that he had to keep himself in line or be killed. Because of this, Axl hates the Volturi even more and feels oppressed by them. His little sister Wynter (non-canon) played on this and used it to drive a wedge between him and Jane (she hates Jane). Her meddling is what made Axl break up with Jane. This story starts a few weeks later.<em>

**Anyhow, even though I ship Jaxl (Jane and Axl) forever, I thought Axlec (Axl and Alec) would make a cute couple.**

_**Rated M for excessive swearing and non-explicit mentions of sex.**_

**A huge thanks to Fae for spellchecking this entire thing. And for pestering me to write more otherwise I would never have finished it.**

**Also thanks to Veronica (vlvalle on twitter) for being the only person aside from Fae to bother reading this on the original site I had this posted on. It means a lot to me.**

**Part 1**

Axl Drake only knew two things for certain: He had lost his sanity and he wanted Jane back. He wasn't sure which one was the cause and which was the effect, but it didn't seem to matter at the present. He was caught in a state in which he hated his life and he wanted to get out of it. With Jane. She was all that seemed to matter these days. All the reasons he had broken up with her meant everything and nothing at the same time. He wanted to act as if those reasons never existed, as if everything could go back to normal. Whatever that was.

He often wondered how things would have turned out if he had met her differently. She worked for the Volturi and he had been disobedient. Never a threat, he would have been killed for that; he was only a nuisance. It never used to bother him what people thought of him until three of Jane's brothers decided to take personal offence to his mannerisms. Perhaps they wouldn't have had a problem with him if he had simply met Jane while she was out hunting, rather than meeting her as a result of him attending the Volturi Ball uninvited. It may have been true that he was unnecessarily unkind to the Volturi, but he _hated_ them. They were Tyrants. Nothing like the Monarch-like leaders they made themselves out to be. If he had a choice about it he would go for total anarchy, although a democracy would be second best.

Politics aside, simply the way the Volturi threw their power about infuriated him. Not to mention that his job wasn't exactly legitimate in the eyes of the law. He was a freelance assassin, picking up jobs all over the world through contacts he had collected. Because of this he knew the Volturi laws by heart, and there was nothing in there against someone even of his profession dating a member of the guard. There was no law against them threatening him with death either. Who was he to the Volturi, except for a foul-mouthed, offensive teenager that they wanted to get rid of?

Jane was most definitely the reason they let him live throughout the eight months they had been together. For all that he hated them, he loved her. He loved her enough that he had chosen to risk his own life by entering her city once again just for the chance to take her back. How a _girl_ could make him lose his sanity like that was beyond him, but when it came to Jane everything was so wrong it was just right. She had him turning into everything he despised about soppy romance novels and he was powerless to resist. With her he was complete. Without her he was empty. That was why he needed to take her back. Breaking it off with her had been the biggest mistake of his life, and he was about to remedy it.

Axl hung his head, standing by himself at the end of a nearly empty train station platform as he pressed his ear to his phone. The early morning air was thick with mist, making the few humans scattered about shiver and huddle for warmth. He had a leather jacket on. It would do to blend in.

The dial tone ended with a click as his call was finally answered.

"Why are you calling me?"

The voice had a harsh edge, almost like Jane's, but masculine. He had called Alec so that he could at least sort things out with him before reaching Volterra.

"I need to talk to you. I'm heading back to the Volterra."

"Does Jane know this?"

It bugged Axl that he couldn't pick out from Alec's tone of voice whether he was fine with him returning or if he hated the idea. At least with Jane, when she was pissed off she wouldn't hold back.

"No. And don't tell her. I don't want her to know yet." Axl glanced contentiously down the platform. Despite speaking quietly, he was concerned that his voice was travelling further than usual in the near silence. He was in Austria, so supposedly everyone spoke German. So long as none of them spoke English like he was, he would be content. "I called you because I wanted to..." he gritted his teeth and forced the unwanted words out "...apologise for being an ass and calling you and your boyfriend fags. I didn't show you the respect you deserved and I'm sorry." The lines felt wrong, recited. It felt to him that he was focusing more on what he thought Alec wanted to hear rather than what he actually meant.

The phone was silent for a few long seconds. "This is Axl Drake I'm speaking to, correct?"

_Fuck you_. Axl scowled, very nearly speaking the insult into the phone. It rolled off the tongue far too easily. "Yeah. I'm trying to sort things out here. I want Jane back, and that's not going to happen if I don't sort this shit out between you and your brothers."

"What if Jane doesn't want you back?"

Despair washed over Axl, his mind instantly jumping to what Alec possibly knew. He was Jane's twin. She had to have spoken to him about their breakup. What had she said to him?

"I have to try." He clung to the phone in his desperation, feeling as if he was at his wit's end. Never in a million years would he have guessed he would one day have to apologise to the _Volturi_ all for a _girl_. "I _am]_ sorry. I can prove it to you once I get there, or I don't know." He ran his fingers through his scruffy hair, not even sure what he was saying.

"Uh huh. I will expect a full grovelling at my feet when you see me next," Alec replied, taunting.  
>Axl scowled in fury at his taunting tone. <em>Like fuck I will<em>. His mouth scrabbled to form some kind of retort that couldn't be labelled as an insult to either Alec or the Volturi. "Just don't kill me when I get there." He pressed the end call button on his phone. "As if, you filthy piece of shit," he grumbled.

He quickly double checked to make sure he really had ended the call, then satisfied he had, he shoved his phone into his pocket and waited impatiently for his train to arrive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

_Bow to me. Bow to me. At my feet you'll bow to me_.

Axl scrambled for his phone as the ringtone he had specifically assigned to Jane's number sounded. Pressing the phone to his ear, he quickly moved out of his seat on the moving train to stand near the door. It wasn't exactly private, but the glass partition at least made him a little more closed off from the rest of the carriage. There could only be two reasons Jane would be calling him at this time. Either Alec had not listened to his request, or she had called him by the mistake. He hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Jane, fuck, Alec spoke to you, didn't he?" He leaned his back against the partition, looking out the window set into the door to see the Italian countryside rolling past.

Jane's voice sounded furiously through the phone. "Where the _fuck _do you get off thinking you can just slip back into Volterra without me finding out, huh? What the hell are you doing?"

There it was, that beautiful temper of hers, piping hot and ready to explode. Axl couldn't help a tiny smile. He had missed her voice, accusations and all. "There's some shit I need to sort out first," he explained. "Jane... I want you back, but first I need to sort out all this shit between me and your brothers. I was supposed to do that first, then talk to you, but now Alec's gone and fucked that up." She had to understand exactly how bad the tension was between him and her brothers. It wasn't exactly a secret, especially after the blackmailing incident.

"What if it can't be sorted?" Jane said, voice tense. "You're just going to leave again."

"I don't fucking know!" Axl growled, then lowered his voice before he could cause too much of a scene inside the train carriage. "All I know is that I fucking hate my life without you."

"Yeah, well you hated it _with_ me, too. Sucks for you. You better figure things out for yourself, because I'm not letting you fuck with my emotions anymore. I will _not_ sit back and let you yo-yo in and out of fucking relationship."

He flinched, stung by her words. She had no idea how much he hated his life without her. It made his depression while he was with her seem insignificant. Not at all a good enough reason to leave her in the first place. He didn't mean to mess with her emotions. They just both seemed to do that to each other without trying. His emotions were always running on high when he was around her. It was like he felt ten times as much as any normal person, and sometimes it was too much to contain. He needed her back, and he was already on the path to sorting things out after his call to Alec. Couldn't she see that? Her blatant dismissal hurt him like a bullet to the chest. He scowled, unable to deal with what she could do to his head with mere words.

"Bitch!" he shouted into the phone, incapable of coming up with a structured sentence at the present. His thumb found the end-call button and he pressed it with so much force that he almost cracked the phone case.

It was safe to say that he was incredibly pissed off. He was annoyed at himself, too, for letting himself entertain the foolish notation that Jane would take him back at easy as that. Returning to his seat, he wore his face in a permanent scowl as he stared out the window, avoiding looking at anyone else. He was getting uncomfortable being trapped in the carriage, not just because of the people, but because the space was too small for his liking. He wanted to be in the fields he saw out his window, running freely and venting the frustration that was clouding his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

The north-most entrance to the tunnel system that threaded underneath Volterra was easy for Axl to find. It was the way he used to always take when entering the city to visit Jane. It was also closest to the house he always stayed out when in Italy, the house of his best friend Emma. Now he was waiting impatiently outside the tiny stone hut that marked the entrance. The building itself was difficult to find, hidden in a steep dip so that anyone emerging from the passage would be faced with upwards slopes covered in trees and undergrowth. Only the dirt paths that wound their way from the door and out of the bowl-shaped dip suggested that the area got heavy foot traffic. He knew that past the door of the tiny, windowless building was a set of step stone steps that led down into the dark tunnels below. As he surveyed the entrance, Axl had to wonder why the local humans hadn't explored the vast network of tunnels right beneath their feet. There were many entrances, so they had to know where at least a few of them were. Then again, for all he knew, the Volturi had spread rumours about the tunnels that had scared people away. They had fooled the entire world into believing that vampires couldn't be seen in mirrors and were afraid of garlic. With that putting things into perspective, he decided it must have been easy for them to scare humans away from the tunnels.

Soft footsteps broke through Axl's thoughts. The small scuffling was too quiet for a human to hear - or make. Only a vampire could move with enough grace to keep the sound of their footsteps that hushed. He got to his feet, dusting dead leaves and dirt off the back of his black jeans as he stepped closer to the hut. A moment later the door opened and Alec stepped out, setting his eyes on Axl before shutting the door behind him. Axl had been the one to request a meeting with him. He understood that despite the conveniences that came with having telephones and cell phones, most vampires who had been around since before their invention preferred to speak face to face. He had to hope that his apology here would have more success than the one he said over the phone. If this did not work, he did not know what he would do.

Reluctantly, Axl bowed his head to Alec, knowing that he at least needed to show that much respect if he was going to get anywhere with him. A full bow was too degrading. The boy was nearly two years younger than him, physically. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me here, Sir," Axl said with a scowl of self-hatred, forcing the words out while feeling his dignity drain away. He detested the politeness and the formalities. "I would've come to you except that I'm not exactly welcome in Volterra yet." Nor had he told Jane that he had arrived.

"For a number of good reasons," Alec replied coldly. "I do not see you grovelling at my feet yet." He raised an eyebrow, as if waiting expectantly.

Axl's scowl deepened. "As if," he snapped, then pressed his jaw firmly shut until he could trust himself not to shout insults at the little bastard. It was bad enough that he had to be alone with a gay boy - a gay boy that had once had a crush on him. For all he knew, Alec would turn him around and ass-rape him. His posture stiffened with the thought and he tried to hurry things along so that he could get out of there sooner. "I came to try apologising again, like I said over the phone." He swallowed back some of his pride, the embarrassment setting in as he tried to figure out a way to rephrase what he had said the first time.

"Go on," Alec prompted. His face was usually unreadable, but right now Axl could read hints of an arrogant and superior look upon it.

"I..." _Just force it out._ "I'm sorry for being an asshole." He struggled for at least a second sentence to add to the apology. "Look, I don't know what the fuck else you want me to say that I haven't already said over the phone. Yes, I've done some bad shit. Now I'm trying to fix it. Doesn't that count for anything with you?"

"Not particularly."

Axl felt his temper building up within him, threatening to explode. How could he stay so calm? "Then what the fuck do you want from me? All I fucking want is Jane back, and I tried to tell you sorry but here _you_ are being an- uh... a..." he bit his tongue.

"Are you going to finish that sentence?" Alec asked calmly.

Axl awkwardly shook his head. Insults rolled too easily off his tongue. That's why he liked spending time with Jane. Together they used insults so often that they had become pet names.

"Very well." Alec turned around and opened the hut door.

"Wait, is that it?" Axl asked, taking two steps closer. There was still a few metres between them, and he didn't want to get any closer.

"Yes, unless you have decided to apologise again and actually mean it."

"I do mean it!"

"No," Alec replied, stepping through the door, "you don't." The door closed behind him.

"Asshole!" Axl shouted out to the sound of footsteps descending into the tunnel.

The sound stopped and the door opened again, Alec's head peering around the edge. "See me here again tomorrow, same time. You should start with grovelling to make up for that latest insult." With that he was gone again, and Axl bit his tongue until the footsteps were entirely out of ear range.

"FUCK!" a thick tree root turned to dust as he kicked his foot through it in an explosion of anger. Somehow he had fallen into the impression that an apology was a cure for everything. Apparently not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Nearly 24 hours had passed and Axl was nowhere near the hut that marked the entrance to the North-most tunnel. He didn't want to say that he had given up on apologising, but there was no way in hell he was going to let Alec toy with him like that. Instead he lay starfished on his bed back at Emma's house, on the phone to Jane.

"Can you at least meet me here?" he pleaded. They had spent the first ten minutes of the conversation arguing over the fact that he had failed to give Alec a full apology. "I want to see you again."

A pause came from Jane's end, then a sigh. "Axl... I want to see you again too, but it's not that easy. I can't just let you worm your way back into my life if you're just going to leave me again. You've fucked with my emotions enough."

"I'm not going to leave this time. Honestly." He desperately hoped she would believe him. He was sincere this time. Why would no one believe him? "I'll fucking prove it to you!"

"How? By giving a failure of an apology to the rest of my brothers, too?"

"Fuck. Just give me a chance, okay Jane? I can't set things right in a day. I've got several months worth of fuckups to atone for. But I promise, I _am_ going to stay this time."

"Set things straight with Alec first. Then I'll believe you."

Axl growled in frustration. "Do you know how fucking hard that is? Your brother hates me!"

"Because you were an asshole to him!" Jane snapped. "You're acting as if this isn't hard on me. Well here's a newflash, dipshit: it is. You can't just walk out of my life then expect to be accepted right back the moment you feel like it. Wisen up, dumbass. It doesn't work like that. Alec will tell me when you make a good enough apology, then we can talk."

"Please Jane!" She had him reduced to begging. "If you wait for Alec to approve, then I'll never get to talk to you again. You have no fucking clue how much I want to see you again. I miss you."

"Please don't make this harder on me, Axl. Just do it."

There was a click then silence.

"Jane?" Axl waited, if only to confirm that she had really hung up on him. With a heavy groan he rolled over to lie face down on his bed, dropping his phone over the edge. It was possible to make it to his meeting with Alec in time if he ran for it, perhaps with yet another apology for being slightly late. But what was the point? The asshole would never accept any form of apology from him, no matter how sincere. It irked him that Jane couldn't see just how biased Alec was against him. He didn't want him to be back with Jane, and now she had just handed him the chance to keep him out of her life forever. "Fuck," he muttered into the bed sheets, desperately trying to figure out another way around this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

A week passed, then two. Axl spent most of his time sulking over not being able to see Jane again, and the rest of it texting her begging her to see his side of the story, along with a little more sulking over how pathetic he was being. Just an hour ago he had received a text message out of the blue from Alec, asking if he was going to attempt an apology again. He had replied no... in a few not-so-polite words. His phone buzzed again with a message from Jane.

_'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT?'_

He sat up on his bed, bewildered as he tried to figure out what the hell Jane could be referring to. Their last messages had been bitter, but they definitely didn't warrant this reaction.

Bringing up a new message, he sent his reply. _'What the fuck are you on about?'_

His phone buzzed a second time, almost too soon. Alec's name appeared at the top of the message.

_'Heads up, I may have told Jane that you cornered Theodore and verbally abused him for being gay.'_

A furious growl sounded from Axl's throat. '_Do you WANT Jane to hate me forever?_' he sent back, in time to read Jane's reply.

_'What the fuck do you think?'_

_'Alec's lying. I haven't been anywhere near Theodore.'_ He had the suspicion that Jane would believe Alec over him anyway. Alec was her twin, whereas he had been nothing but an annoyance to her lately, or so he felt. "Fucking bastard," he muttered under his breath.

_'Then explain why the poor kid was practically in tears, asshole.'_ Jane sent.

_'I don't fucking know! I haven't seen him since before you and I broke up!_ The moment Axl sent the message he flicked through his cell phone's phonebook and called Alec.

Six seconds, then Alec answered. "Have you called to apologise for what you did to Theo?"

"I did nothing and you know it!" Axl growled in frustration. "Why the fuck are you doing this to me?" His phone buzzed again with a message from Jane, but he didn't check it yet. "I've never even said anything to Theo's face before! Hell, all I've ever said about him was to you and you already got me back for that shit."

"Really, Axl," Alec replied, calm as if he hadn't just been shouted at. "What you did to my boyfriend was simply appalling. I thought you would have learnt by now to keep your homophobic comments to yourself."

"Just fucking stop it already! What the fuck are you trying to prove?"

"Does it not tell you something about yourself, Axl, that people are so willing to believe that you sought out Theo at the stables simply for the chance to bully him? It sounds like something you would do."

"No it doesn't. I could get killed for that! I'm not that fucking stupid." What kind of trouble had Alec gotten him in? He doubted Alec would report him to the Masters for the false incident, or that Jane would turn him in for anything. It was the others he had to worry about. There were a few he could name who would not hesitate to seize the chance to have him killed.

"Yes, you could get killed. That was a rather foolish move for you to make, wasn't it? A lapse of judgement, I would call it."

How the hell Alec could remain so calm when he was shouting at him was beyond him. "I didn't fucking do it and you know it!" he shouted through the phone.

"I have a proposition for you," Alec told him. "You can come apologise to me tomorrow afternoon, same place as before, and I'll tell Jane that I made the whole thing up."

"Are you actually going to believe me this time?" Axl asked with a deep scowl.

"That depends. Are you going to be sincere this time?"

"I was sincere the first fucking time!"

"Now now, Axl, that is not the way to speak to a senior guard. I would add that to the list of things you need to apologise for, but the list is long enough already."

"Fuck you."

"No thank you. I already have a boyfriend."

Axl scrunched up his face in an explosion of fury. "That's not what I meant and you know it, fag!"

His outburst was met by silence.

"Fuck, sorry," Axl quickly backtracked, worried he would get killed for that insult. "I didn't mean that. I... fine I'll see you tomorrow." Scowling, his temper on fire, he ended the call before waiting to see if Alec was going to reply. Words could not describe how much he hated Alec right now. The last thing he wasn't to do was apologise to him. "Stupid queer," he muttered under his breath in disgust.

His phone alerted him to the unread text message from Jane.

_'You better be telling the truth.'_

His temper cooled a little. Jane clearly didn't believe Alec entirely. That was one thing he could at least be thankful for. He would try his apology to Alec just one more time, he decided, and if that didn't work then he would work at proving to Jane just how biased her twin was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

Axl was sitting on top of the terracotta-tiled roof of the little hut that marked the North-most entrance to the tunnels when Alec showed up. He wrapped a knuckle against once of the tiles to direct his attention upwards.

"I see you actually decided to turn up this time," Alec commented idly. In a single leap he jumped up to meet him, taking a seat on the opposite slope of the gable roof.

"I just want to get this over and done with," Axl replied, his usual scowl setting in. It made him uncomfortable being so close to the queer.

"Go ahead."

Axl looked away from him, trying to figure out how he was going to phrase things this time. The problem was he didn't actually mean it. His only regrets for his misbehaviour was for himself, because it had torn him away from Jane. He could insist as many times as he wanted, but he didn't care in the slightest that he had hurt Alec with his rude remarks.

"I'm sorry for being a prick," he began, looking back at Alec to at least try and look sincere. "And for insulting you and Theodore-"

"No you're not," Alec interrupted tonelessly. "Say what you mean."

"You don't want to hear it."

"Probably not, but say it anyway."

Axl looked at him for a silent moment, unsure if he would be digging himself a deeper hole or finding himself out of the one he was already in. "Well I'm not sorry for insulting you, that's for sure," he said, trying the near impossible task of reading Alec's face to get a grasp on how he was doing. "I'm only sorry that all this shit turned back on me and ruined what I had with Jane. I hate you and your _boyfriend_" -he made a face of disgust at the word- "and the only reason I'm even bothering with an apology at all is so I can be with Jane again. Was that sincere enough for you?"

Alec wore a small smirk. It was perhaps the first expression he had seen him wear today. "It was."

Axl blinked in surprise then frowned, wondering what he was getting at.

"You have made a good start, Axl. Now you need to work on actually being sorry for what you are supposed to be apologising for. While you are at it, you may want to work on your homophobia, too."

"I'm _not_ homophobic," Axl growled. "That makes it sound like I'm scared of gays. I'm not."

"No," Alec replied, almost as if he agreed. "You only insult them, look down upon them and are disgusted by them; all the signs of a regular homophobe."

Axl scowled and looked away. So what if gay guys disgusted him? Everything they did was wrong; unnatural.

"Did you know that homophobia is a sign of latent homosexuality?"

"I'M NOT GAY!" Axl shouted forcefully, snapping his gaze back onto him.

Alec smirked. "It is natural for people who are not secure in their sexuality to feel threatened-"

"You don't even bother to ask why the fuck I don't like gays in the first place," Axl interrupted bitterly. "You know NOTHING about me, yet here you are jumping to fucked up conclusions about why I act the way I do!"

"Then by all means," Alec replied, his voice peaceful in contrast, "explain it to me."

Axl grinded his teeth, reluctant to delve into the parts of his past that were personal to him. "I... had an older brother, Nathaniel. He used to use those insults against me all the time." He stopped, looking to Alec to see if he would argue that his reason wasn't good enough or say something else to aggravate him like Jane would. Instead he was listening patiently. "This was the end of the 1500s. They didn't have words like 'gay', 'queer', 'fag' and stuff back then, but it was the same intent. 'Sodomite' was a popular one. He used to say that I'd fuck around with older men, or just any guy I could get my hands on," he scowled. "Every chance he could, he'd say something about me taking it up the ass from other boys or whatever other perverted shit he could think of. I fucking hated it. He did it for four years solid and it just... I don't know, got under my skin and now I can't stand the thought of it." He felt that he had failed in his explanation. It sounded like less when he said out loud, because he simply could not express just how much Nathaniel had gotten to him.

"Have you told Jane this?"

Axl shook his head. "No. Whenever the topic of queers and stuff comes up, she's always at me for insulting you."

"Yes, well she is protective of me like that," Alec replied. "Then again, you should refrain from your insults. By saying them you are just as bad as your brother."

"I'm _nothing_ like him!" Axl snapped, suddenly livid. The amount of loathing he had for Nathaniel was beyond measure. To be compared to him was an insult worse than anything else he could think of.

"Then do not follow in his footsteps. You have the choice not to."

Axl grumbled and turned his whole body to face away from Alec, his fingers gripping at the terracotta roof tiles as he mulled the thought over. He hated queers but he hated Nathaniel more. The suggestion that he was like Nathaniel in any way had really gotten to him.

"I still hate you," he said finally. His hatred didn't have to be anything based around Nathaniel. Alec had given him plenty of reasons to hate him - his most recent prank was one of many.

"I am not surprised."

There was a movement that caused Axl to turn around, and he was in time to see the fluttering of Alec's dark grey cloak as he leaped to the ground.

"Come back again on Wednesday. I have work that will keep me busy these next three days, but on Wednesday I will be free. You can try that apology again."

"Like fuck I will."

"Goodbye, Axl," Alec said as if he had not heard him.

The door at the top of the tunnel steps clicked shut then Axl was alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

Over the next three days Axl spent less time sulking and more time feeling hopeful that he could actually set things right with Alec. Then he could finally have Jane back. He missed her company, her voice, and the feeling of her in his arms. He was beginning to feel a new determination. If this was how he was going to win her back, he'd do it.

He could look to his future with more optimism than he had felt since leaving Jane. Alec had made good on his promise and told her the truth: that he had not bullied Theodore. He was beginning to speak to her more often through the means of text messages. It was a good sign. A much as he hated being separated from her, just being able to speak to her again lifted his mood. Perhaps, he hoped, she would let him see her soon, without him having to complete the impossible task of making a sincere apology to Alec. He craved everything he once had with her, from their heated arguments to their comfortable silences lying in each other's arms. There was no doubt that he loved her just as strongly as before, and that he missed her more each day.

The afternoon of the fourth day arrived, and Axl made his way from Emma's villa to the hut. He arrived in time to see Alec emerging from the tunnel. He grumbled under his breath, barely acknowledging him, and sat himself down on the dirt slope leading down to the hut.

"That is hardly the appropriate way to greet a member of the Volturi guard," Alec commented, stopping just two metres in front of him. The slope had Axl's head nearly the same height as Alec's, despite him sitting down.

"And?" Axl asked, raising an eyebrow, waiting to see what he would do about it.

"You ought to show at least some respect to the Volturi, or Master Aro will send you up in flames." Alec's arm stretched out to his side where he clicked his fingers and pointed to where he wanted Axl to stand.

"There you go with the death threats again."

"I am only stating fact." His fingers snapped again.

Axl's eyes narrowed and he grumbled as he pushed himself to his feet, wiping the dirt from his jeans before moving to stand where he was told. The spot was obviously chosen so that his head would be level with Alec's. They were the same height - he hadn't noticed before. Jane was a good four inches shorter than the two of them.

"You can start with a 'Good afternoon, Sir'," Alec instructed.

"Good afternoon, and I'm not calling you 'Sir'. You're younger than me."

"I am senior to you."

"Only in the Volturi's eyes," Axl grumbled.

"Which is the point of view that matters," Alec replied. "You fear the Volturi, do not try to deny that. The least you can do to stay off our radar is show some respect."

"Why?" A snare was forming on his lips. "You haven't earned it."

"Neither have you, yet you seem to be asking it from us. Respect goes both ways, Axl. The least you can do is show some, and perhaps then you will receive some in return. Now say 'Good afternoon, Sir' and finish with a bow."

"A bow? I'm not fucking bowing." Axl felt his temper sparking as his stubbornness kicked in.

"Very well." Alec turned his back, walking back to the hut.

"Is that it, then?"

Alec stopped, almost close enough to the hut to reach the door if he extended a hand. "No. We will both meet back here tomorrow and you will greet me as instructed. Since I cannot extract a sincere apology from you, I can at least teach you a few manners."

"Why?" Axl took a few steps closer so that they were almost on level ground.

"Because," Alec replied. "Jane deserves more than you. She has given you her love and you cannot even give her or her family your respect. I cannot change Jane's mind about you, but I can at least teach you a few manners, for her sake. And for mine, seeing as I will have to put up with you for an indefinite period of time, should she take you back."

Axl thought his words over for a moment, grinding his teeth together as he fought between his stubbornness and his need to prove to Alec he was worthy of Jane. A twitch, then he ducked his head in the smallest bow he could manage while muttering in a flat voice: "Good afternoon, Sir."

Alec took a step away from the hut. "Very poor. Try again."

"What?"

"You looked more like you were nodding off to sleep than making an attempt to bow. Try again."

Axl shook his head defiantly. One bow was all he could get past the barricade of stubbornness.

"A bow, when done properly, should look like so." Alec proceeded to bow in demonstration.

Axl stared at him. "How can you do that? Just... bow without worrying about looking weak or submissive? Don't you care how other people see you?"

"What other people see is a sign of respect, as it should be. Respect is something greatly valued around here. Do not think of bowing as something demeaning, because it is not. However if you do a bad job of it, it can be cause of a few good laughs."

Axl doubted Alec knew how to laugh.

"Bow with me, Axl."

Axl watched sceptically as Alec bowed once again, then reluctantly he copied him, feeling at least a little less foolish with them both doing it.

"Much better. Again."


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 8**

"I have a new rule," Alec announced. Both boys had seated themselves on the dirt slope that formed a basin around the hut. Axl had made sure to put just over a metre gap between them to ease his discomfort.

"For every swear word you use, you owe me one euro."

"Why?" Axl pulled a face, objecting to the new rule. Curing was like a second language to him.

A day had passed since their bowing lesson. They had continued until Alec was happy with his bowing. Axl didn't hate it any less, but he found it at least a little less degrading when there was only Alec around to see.

"Because that type of language is vulgar and highly inappropriate when speaking to your superiors."

"I'll swear whenever the fuck I want," Axl scowled. "You've got me bowing. What the fuck else do you want?"

"For you to be a suitable boyfriend to my sister, for one," Alec replied, "but we will start with the basics. You owe me two euros."

Axl replied by flashing his middle finger at him.

"That particular gesture counts as two euros. You owe me four."

"What are you going to do with the money anyway?" Axl snapped.

"Nothing. I have no need of it. On the other hand, this must be very degrading for you. I don't suppose you have any coins on you? You can start paying off the debt you have acquired."

"Like fuck I will."

"Five. My my, Axl, at this rate you will owe me several thousand before the week is up."

"What if you swear? Does that mean you owe me money?" Axl spat, trying to retaliate in whatever meagre way he could. He had to wonder if Alec was capable of swearing.

"I suppose that is fair. Although I know better than to let my tongue run loose."

"You _do_ swear, then?"

"From time to time," Alec shrugged. "Around Jane. You could say she has rubbed off on me."

There. A hint of a smirk. Sometimes Axl found himself wondering if Alec felt any emotion at all. He always seemed so bland and dull.

"I'll give you a freebee if you swear right here right now," Axl challenged.

Alec did no more than blink. "Fuck."

"Well that was lame. If you're going to swear at all, at least sound like you mean it. You sound like you're more interested in the colour of bark. Try it again, like you mean it.

"  
>Alec shook his head. "No thank you."<p>

"I've been putting up with all your bullshit." Axl clambered to his feet, taking two steps down the slope before turning to look at Alec. "You have me fucking _bowing _to you. You gotta at least _try_ say it like you mean it. Are you Jane's twin or not?"

"She curses more than enough for the both of us," Alec replied stiffly.

"And? It's not like anyone's going to hear you out here. We're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Shout it out." Smirking, he took a deep breath and bellowed the word out as loud as he could, making it echo around the tree-covered basin.

"I am counting that," Alec said blankly.

"Lighten up, geez. You know fuck-all about having fun, don't you?"

"I find my own sources of amusement."

"Stand up," he grabbed Alec's arm and pulled him to his feet, "and just say it." He took a step back, watching him. It annoyed him that the boy was so hard to read, but he was almost sure he could detect uncertainty. "It's just a word."

"A crude word," Alec replied warily, "and you are asking me to shout it."

"No one can hear us," Axl shrugged, then faced the sky and shouted out a small selection of the crudest words in his knowledge. He then looked to Alec with a smirk. He was getting a small feeling of satisfaction from his petty revenge. For once he was the one giving the orders, even if they were only minor.

Alec shifted uncomfortably, took a deep breath then shouted nearly a loud as Axl had.

"Not so bad, huh?" Axl asked with a snicker, then shouted out another. He spied a smirk lurking around Alec's lips before he opened them to shout again. The basin echoed with their swearing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

Pain was something Axl Drake was used to, but to feel absolutely nothing was something he had been incapable of imagining. He could see nothing, yet it wasn't dark like a windowless room would be. Rather, there was an absence of light and dark altogether. He was beginning to feel off balance, but it wasn't off-putting. Up and down had lost their meaning, and also their importance. Actions as simple as twitching a finger confused him. He could remember how to perform the action just fine, but with the complete lack of feeling through his body, he couldn't even tell how his body was positioned, let alone how he was moving it. Last he remembered he had been lying on his back, legs straight and arms at his sides. However long ago that was. Time had lost its meaning too. It was as if he had been wrapped in a void. Not even the slightest scent or sound could get through, and he was alone.

Smell was the first thing that came back to him. It was as if he was awakening from deep sleep and needed a moment to readjust his scenes. The smell of dirt, moss, and something distinctly Alec was soon met by the sound of rustling leaves and the small creatures that lived near the hut. It took him a moment to realise his eyes were closed, and he blinked a few times to adjust to the light before looking at Alec sitting cross-legged nearby.

He had to clear his throat before speaking, just to reassure himself that he still had use of his vocal chords. "That's how I reckon limbo feels like," he spoke. "I guess that kinda fits since you kill most people you use it on before they can wake." With that thought he realised how easily Alec could have killed him while he submitted to his power, yet he had trusted him. Looking back on it, he thought it was foolish for him to have put that much trust in someone who clearly disliked him as much as Alec did.

Sitting up, he shook his head to remove the dirt from his hair. "I don't suppose you'll let me use my power on you?" he asked with a small smirk. He'd take some small pleasure in seeing Alec writhe in pain.

Alec's reply was to shake his head. "No. As high as my pain-tolerance is, I do not enjoy the sensation like you do."

"Damn," Axl shrugged. At least that particular word didn't count on his tally. He already owed over forty euros after only a week. "Can I ask you something?" he asked after a moment.

"You may ask, but I may not answer."

That was good enough for him. "How do you put up with Jane if you don't like pain?"

"Easy, she is my sister. On the rare occasion that she tortures me, I put up with it because she is the one person I care about most in this world."

"What about your... uh... boyfriend?" He tried not to pull a face with his disgust.

"Theodore comes after quite an extensive list of people and he knows it," Alec replied. "That is not to say I do not care for him, but my Masters, their wives, and my fellow guard members all come before him."

"How can you _do_ that? Just give your life to serving those masters of yours?" He couldn't comprehend _willingly_ serving a bunch of tyrants, yet Alec had done so for over three hundred years.

"They saved my life. I serve them gladly."

"You're a slave," Axl scowled.

"I am an employee, and part of a family. Just think, Axl, if you were to seek a reputable job in this day and age, you would have the same limitations as I do. You would have to work your way up the ranks, and you would have to seek permission for time off, as I do."

All the more reason for him to work freelance, Axl thought to himself. "At least those jobs wouldn't threaten death for disobedience," he retorted.

"True," Alec agreed. "Then again, I have never found a reason to be blatantly disobedient."

"Never? How the fuck do you manage that?"

"Forty three euros." He paused in thought. "I do suppose there are temptations. At times the emotional part of my brain tries to lead me astray, but the logical part sets me on the right path, and I know it is for the best. You should try it some time."

Axl raised an eyebrow. There Alec was talking about emotion again, despite being unable to feel anything as far as he could tell. "You know that if you quit that-" he held back an insult, "-that coven of yours, you'll be free to follow whatever temptations you want."

Alec shook his head. "That would not be wise. I... have an unfortunate habit of making bad decisions when I heed emotion rather than logic. It is not surprising. Logic offers a well-reasoned argument, whereas emotion offers only a fleeting feeling that can be easily ignored. Besides, I could never leave the Volturi."

"Fuck. You're like a bloody psychopath."

"Forty four. Technically I am not. A psychopath feels little or no emotion. I, on the other hand, simply choose to ignore it and listen to logical reasoning instead."

Well that solved a small part of the mystery. Still, Axl didn't understand how Alec could live like that. Emotion was such a big part of him, he couldn't begin to comprehend how Alec managed. "Don't tell me you've never just taken a leap of faith and followed emotion instead of logic." He had to, at least once in three hundred years. Otherwise he had to be mentally insane somehow. Axl couldn't see any other explanation for it.

Alec's face softened a little as he looked down at his hands. "Theodore was a leap of faith. He was one temptation I did not want to ignore. Logic tells me that if this ends badly, it could negatively affect my job performance, yet I let myself enter a relationship with him anyway. I can only hope that no negative consequences come of it."

Axl smirked, glad to see that Alec showed at least a few human traits. "See, you're not an emotionless freak after all," he teased, snickering lightly. "You just needed your gay buddy to help you realise it."

"Being able to keep a lid on emotion is not a bad thing," Alec said, his posture and expression neutral once again. "You ought to give it a try. Perhaps then I will decide that you have been housetrained well enough to date my sister."

They were back to their deal again. At least this version of it meant that he didn't have to apologise. He only had to sit through these lessons on manners. He had to remind himself that Jane was the only reason he was putting up with this. If his talks with Alec kept going the way they were, he suspected he would get to see Jane again pretty soon. That thought made him happy.


	10. Chapter 10

Short chapter, sorry. But we're half way through, guys!

**Part 10**

_'I miss you.'_ Axl hit send on the message to Jane, then stared up at the clear starry sky as he waited for a reply.

For two weeks now, he had been meeting with Alec four days each week to be taught how to behave around the Volturi guard. Most of the time their topic of conversation drifted far from what they were meant to be discussing, but Axl didn't mind because he preferred that to being told how to behave.

He scrambled to read the reply when his phone buzzed with Jane's message.

_'I miss you too.'_

The reply caused a small secret smile to form on his face. He liked to think that she was as torn up about their split as he was. Sighing, he typed up a reply.

_'This thing with Alec is taking for-fucking-ever. Can we meet to just talk? It doesn't have to be anything more, I just want to see you again.'_

Closing his eyes, he prayed that she would say yes, although he was unsure if there was anyone listening.

The wait was long, and he found himself fidgeting with his phone as he anxiously awaited the buzz that would signify a message received. It felt like forever before Jane's response came.

_'I'll think about it.'_

Well. Axl didn't know whether to see it as a good sign or bad. She hadn't said no, so that was definitely a plus side. But she hadn't said yes either. Closing his eyes, he let himself slip into his own small fantasy world where Jane had decided to be his girlfriend again and everything was wonderful. He supposed that once everything was fixed up the way it should be, he'd be friends with Alec. Considering that he hated him, the idea of friendship was strange. Perhaps, without realising, he'd grown to hate him less, thanks to their regular meetings. Still, friendship seemed a bit far-fetched. He reminded himself that Alec was gay, or bisexual as Jane so often liked to correct him, and was instantly repulsed by the thought of friendship with him.

Sighing, he opened his eyes and went back inside.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part 11**

Walking through the unlit tunnels that were buried under Volterra, Axl checked he still had a signal on his phone then dialled Alec's number.

Three seconds, then he answered. "I hope this isn't to say you wish to cancel on our meeting," Alec said instead of a greeting. They weren't supposed to meet for another five hours.

"I was wondering why-" he had to stop himself from saying 'why the fuck' to prevent his tally from going any higher, "-you never bothered to tell me you broke up with Theodore."

There was a pause. "How did you find out?"

"Because I just visited him. I thought you were still seeing him." He had gone in hopes that Theodore could give him a few tips to help him deal with Alec. He thought that by now Alec would have told Jane that his behaviour was good enough to make up for the missing apology, then he could see her again.

"I sincerely hope you did not scare him."

"No. Well maybe a little, but I didn't mean to. He scares easily," he tried to explain through the phone. "He said you broke it off two days ago."

"That I did," Alec replied. "I came to realise that I do not feel so strongly for him anymore, so the logical thing to do was to end it, rather than lie about my feelings to him. I never told you because it does not concern you. May I ask, why did you visit him?"

"Because of you. Because I'm making shit-all progress in my 'lessons' with you, so I was wondering if he knew how to get around you."

"So you tried to go behind my back," Alec concluded.

"No," Axl scowled. "Not really. I ended up apologising for scaring him, if that helps. He actually accepts apologies, unlike you."

"He is not as adept at picking out lies as I am." There was silence over the phone for a moment. "Where are you? I can hear a lot of echoing."

"Tunnels."

"Ah," Alec replied. "Whereabouts exactly?"

"Just left the stables, took the first fork heading north, why?" Axl asked, curious.

"You can have your lesson early, today. Go back to that fork you passed, I'll meet you there."

It wasn't long before Axl reached the fork in the tunnel's again. It was a four-way junction, one path leading to the stables, one to the Palazzo dei Priori, and the other two North and South. A single electric light was fixed to the stone wall illuminating the centre of the junction. Axl could see where there was once a fitting for a flaming torch, which must have been removed once it became outdated. The stonework had been burnt black because of it, but the wires that connected the lights looked quite new. He had never associated the Volturi with new technology, but he supposed they had to keep up to date with the world in order to rule it.

He heard the footsteps before he saw him. The dim light would have made it hard for a human to see anything, but with his vampiric sight he was able to pick out Alec's dark silhouette approaching from the tunnel that led to the Palazzo.

He smirked as Alec drew closer. "Good morning, Sir," he said with a bow, as he had been trained to do. "Missed me?" he added teasingly, leaning against the stone wall under the single light-source.

Alec did little more than raise an eyebrow. "Hardly." He leaned against the wall opposite in the four-way junction. "I am curious, though, why you felt that I needed to inform you of my breakup with Theodore."

Axl shrugged. He hadn't thought anything of it.

"Let it be known, Axl, that my personal life is personal and there is no reason for me to tell you any of it."

He nodded. Why had he been surprised that Alec hadn't told him about breaking up with Theodore? For a moment he had been somewhat offended, and that confused him. He looked at the ground, frowning. It occurred to him, as he thought about it, that he'd fooled himself into thinking he had some kind of connection with Alec. "I thought that.. maybe we were almost friends..." His voice trailed into mumbling as he realised how foolish he sounded. "...maybe... no... no we're not." He stared at his feet in embarrassment.

The extended silence eventually made him lift his head to see Alec staring at him.

"Axl... you are my sister's past, and possibly future boyfriend. I have taken it upon myself to shape you into someone worthy of dating a Volturi guard. We both barely tolerate each other. We are most certainly not _friends_."

Axl scowled, looking at the stone floor again, wondering why that upset him. He hated the guy.

"We have a lesson to complete," Alec said tonelessly. "Unless you would rather delay it until our usual time?"

"No," Axl shook his head, mentally scolding himself for being upset over something like that. "Let's just get it over with."


	12. Chapter 12

**Part 12**

With his lesson from Alec over, Axl returned to his room at Emma's villa and slumped on his bed. Despite never using the piece of furniture for sleeping, he quite liked having it there. He imagined he could still smell Jane's scent on the sheets from their last sexual encounter before the breakup, but too much time had passed and only his own scent remained.

No matter how much he tried to think of other things, his thoughts always returned to the same question: why did Alec's refusal of friendship bother him? It wasn't like they had ever been that close, really. If it weren't for him dating Jane, Alec wouldn't have been in his life at all. It was only in the last few weeks they had begun to speak to each other regularly. Besides, Alec was gay - bisexual, he could hear Jane's voice scolding him - so that was a very good reason not to be friends with him. As always, he was repulsed by the thought of being friends with a queer. The question of why he had considered friendship with him in the first place seemed even more confusing.

Then a small, fleeting thought came to him. Something that would haunt him for a long time. He wanted to blame his subconscious for sending it, but then he would have to acknowledge that it actually meant something, and he wasn't willing to accept that. A curiosity, then. A curiosity that suggested the idea of something more than friendship with Alec. No. That was definitely out of the question. Every part of his mind suddenly leapt into action in an effort to deny he had even had the thought. It was because Alec had once had a crush on him, that was all. He was 100% straight, of course. He was Jane's. He loved her so completely it hurt to be away from her. He clung to that thought, hiding behind it as if that one stray thought of Alec was a monster lurking in the shadows of his mind, ready to leap out at any moment.

"Jane..." he muttered to himself for reassurance, fighting back the disgust that made him feel nauseous. Rolling onto his side, he pushed back the sleeve of his jacket past the elbow to see the name 'Jane' carved into his forearm in bold letters. He had done it to himself, because he loved her so much he never wanted to leave her. Then he had left her anyway.

Picking up his phone, he dialled Jane's number and pressed the speaker to his ear.

There was a click, then Jane's voice sounded, clearly irritated. "I told you not to call me, dipshit. Texting only, until you make a proper apology to Alec."

Axl couldn't help a smile, not just because he had missed the sound of her voice, but because just in those few words he remembered just how much he loved her. That one stray thought about Alec meant nothing. It may as well have never happened. He was and always would be happy with Jane.

"I love you," he murmured into the phone, happy with his turn of thoughts.

"...I know..." There was a click, telling him she had hung up.

He rolled onto his back, fingers tracing over where her name was carved into his skin. Yes, he was definitely happy with Jane, and Jane alone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Part 13**

Axl was nervous about meeting Alec the next day. As confidant as he was that he was in love with Jane, that small thought had lodged into his brain like a grain of salt. He was scared of it, and scared that Alec would see that something was off about him, because this was one thing he could not explain, no matter how many times he confirmed to himself that it meant nothing.

Alec was first to the hut this time. Axl walked down the dirt slope and stopped a few metres away to bow. "Good afternoon, Sir," he greeted him stiffly. He had become used to the greeting Alec had trained him to use, but it still felt awkward.

"You're late," Alec commented. He took a few steps forward, and Axl had to fight his instinct to recoil as he drew closer.

"So?" Axl challenged. He didn't always have to be on time, did he? It wasn't like he cared what Alec thought of him.

"It is not very good manners to be late. If it is something you cannot help, the least you can do is call or text to let the person waiting for you know why."

Axl pursed his lips and nodded, looking anywhere but at Alec.

"I thought for today's lesson we could figure out how you are going to make it up to my brothers, Demetri and Afton, seeing as they are the two who have been affected the most by your past behaviour," Alec said conversationally.

Axl nodded again, still refusing to look at him.

Alec fell into a silence that made Axl feel comfortable. "I offended you, didn't I?- by rejecting the idea of friendship. I honestly did not think you would want that. Last I knew, you hated me. I... do suppose... once you and Jane begin seeing each other again we could possibly call each other friends. Jane would be happy with that, I am sure."

A scowl was forming on Axl's lips. That one small grain of thought was itching, and he hated himself for being unable to forget it. "No. I don't fucking want to be friends with you. What I said before about us being friends was a mistake. I still hate you." He needed to speak the words out loud, desperately seeking the reassurance before the small monster inside him could grow.

He didn't want to look at Alec's face, but when he did, it was blank and unreadable as always.

"And here I thought I saw sincerity in you, back in the tunnel," Alec commented tonelessly.

Axl's scowl deepened. "Why the fuck would I want to be friends with a fag like you? Get on with the lesson."

"I thought you had changed," Alec replied, his voice noticeably colder than before. "After your comment about friendship yesterday, I thought you had gotten over your homophobia. You had not said a single homophobic remark in a week, and you had not used any foul language around me for three full sessions. Now you have resorted back to your old ways. Why?"

"I still fucking hate you!" Axl snapped, pissed off at himself for letting Alec notice something was wrong. It would have been so much easier to act like he normally did. "I don't want you getting under the impression that I've started to... to not hate you anymore. "

"I see." Alec pursed his lips in thought. "You at least ought to apologise for calling me a fag."

Axl looked away stubbornly, crossing his arms.

He could hear Alec sighing, then a rustling as he sat down on the dirt slope. "Whatever it is that has gotten you worked up today, Axl, you need to sort it out. Speak to Emma, or your sister Wynter; someone that you trust. I cannot have you undo all the progress you have made just because of a foul mood."

Alec's words were met by silence.

"You wanted to know why I broke up with Theodore?" he asked. "He was wonderful, really. He helped me get over the death of a girl I liked like nothing else could. Liz, her name was. She was one temptation I could not resist. But she was human, and ill. My Masters ruled against relationships with humans long ago, so I knew that what I was doing what wrong. But I was foolish," he looked down. "So many times the logical side of me told me I could not have her, but it was too hard, battling the emotions I always try to suppress. I bottle them up, then sometimes they just come spilling over. She died because of a heart condition. I shut out all thoughts of her. I thought I could manage it. Then once in a while her name would come up again and I realised that I could never get over her by denying all thoughts and emotions associated with her. Then I met Theodore LeBeau, or LeBeau, as I like to call him. It means 'The Beautiful' in French, which I found fitting because he really is beautiful. He visited Liz's gravestone with me. I never could have gone alone, and Jane would have mocked me. But not him. He was there for me, for support."

Axl sat down too, a good distance away as he listened to the story with more curiosity than he was willing to admit.

"I knew he liked me, and I let him know that I liked him in return. He is quite my opposite: he lets his emotions run away with him. I think I need someone like that. Someone that will remind me that it is ok to actually feel things from time to time and not suppress it. But I was afraid. I didn't want to grow so emotionally attached to him that should he ever leave me or choose to break up with me for whatever reason, I would be devastated. I had gotten too attached to Liz, and look where that left me. So I played it safe... too safe. Too late, I realised that I had subconsciously been pushing LeBeau away. I had gone too far, I had rid myself of any romantic feelings towards him until all that was left was an act. I do suppose that if those feelings return one day, then I will seek him out with a full apology and see if he is willing to try again. Until then, I cannot live a lie with him. It would only hurt him more." Alec scratched at the dirt with a fingernail as he fell into silence, staring at the spot he was digging up with glazed eyes.

For a moment Axl watched his hand too. It was more than just a fleeting thought this time; the thought of taking that same hand to comfort him. He was instantly nauseated by the thought. Pushing up his sleeve to where he had inscribed Jane's name in his skin, he bit down on his own wrist, releasing his own quickly rising frustration with himself through his favourite drug: pain. With his legs drawn up defensively, he rested his elbows on his knees and concentrated on the sharp stinging of his teeth. He forced himself to stay silent as he closed his eyes, counting on the fact that Alec was too wrapped up in his own thoughts and scratching dirt to notice.

He was only feeling sympathetic, he convinced himself. That was the only reason such a repulsive thought occurred to him. That grain of a thought he had yesterday was infecting him like a vile disease, and he only had to wait it out and it would be gone. He felt unclean, as if that single unwanted thought had contaminated him. It made him shudder as he refused to accept the possibilities. He would be back with Jane soon enough, then he would be fine. Those small, vile thoughts could be buried, never to surface again.

Removing his teeth from his wrist, he glanced over at Alec to check he hadn't seen, before licking over the stinging wound. The venom would heal the mark in no time, to leave nothing but a faint scar that would blend in with the thousands of others in the same place. He pulled down his sleeve to hide the fresh wound.

He took another glance at Alec before he finally broke the extended silence. He wasn't great at the sympathy thing, but he could at least talk to try rid Alec of his impression that something was wrong with him. "How does that work? You like a girl one day then a guy the next?"

Alec finally stopped scratching the dirt, looking up at him. "You make it sound like I like a different gender each day," he commented. "When I look at a person in terms of a relationship, I do not see genders, I see a person that deserves to be loved."

"I always thought gay guys just called themselves bisexual to fit in with the straight guys."

"That is a common misconception," Alec replied flatly. "Another is that we are simply confused and are going through a phase, and that we will eventually pick one side or the other. I have identified as bisexual since before the term existed. Believe me when I say that I am certain of my sexuality."

Axl pulled a face in disgust. He definitely wasn't comfortable with this discussion, despite being the one to start it. It made him feel extremely uncomfortable, considering his recent thoughts.

"You let the topic of homosexuality and bisexuality disturb you far too much," Alec commented.

"Because it's gross," Axl snapped. As he said it, it had been intended as an excuse for Alec, but a second later he was using as an excuse in his own head for his behaviour. There was no doubt that he was disgusted by gays and bisexuals. He would have been disgusted regardless of those stray thoughts, he convinced himself. Those stray thoughts could never have happened.

"Why?"

"It just is!" Axl growled, annoyed that he had to defend himself. "The only reason you can't see it is because you're one of those queer fucks trying to force your views on us straight people to make us accept something unnatural. You like girls, so you could at least pretend you're straight to fit in with the rest of us."

Alec's expression darkened and he got to his feet. "Our lesson for today is cancelled. You can contact me once you have decided to talk to someone about whatever has gotten you into this mood. Goodbye, Axl." He walked swiftly back to the hut, opening the door.

"Alec, wait!" He stood, unsure how he was going to stop him.

The door closed, and Axl heard his footsteps fading down the stairs.

A growl was building in his throat, starting soft, then building louder. Then with a sudden cry of frustration he lashed out, kicking at the dirt beneath his force that he sent a huge cloud of it flying out to fall in a mini avalanche down the slope towards the hut. What he really needed was Jane back, so that those horrid thoughts that made him want to vomit could be erased from his head for good.

Then he wouldn't have to hate himself anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

**Part 14**

The following day Axl stubbornly kept himself at Emma's villa rather than show up at the hut. He wasn't sure if Alec was going to show up or not, but if he did, well that would show him. It was his fault for forcing him to spend so much time with him in the first place. Now Axl could do nothing but scratch deep welts into his own skin, as if he could dig out those horrible thoughts.

_Bow to me. Bow to me. At my feet you'll bow to me._

Axl scrambled for his phone as Jane's ringtone played. She hadn't called him since his return to Italy. Why was she calling him now? He could only count himself lucky as pressed the answer-call button.

"Hello?" He could have answered with some kind of insulting or sarcastic remark like he usually did, but right now he just needed her to stay on the phone with him.

"Alec said you've been improving," Jane's voice sounded through the speaker.

He liked to imagine that she was standing in the same room as him. Then he comprehended what she had said. "Wait, really?"

"He also said that you fucked that all up yesterday. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you want me back anymore?"

"What?" Axl frowned. "Fuck, of course I want you back. Why the fuck wouldn't I want you back?"

"I don't know. What the fuck was yesterday about, then?" Jane demanded.

"Off day, I don't know. Why the fuck does it matter? I've had enough of Alec bullying me. I just want to see you again."

"You know the deal." Her sigh sounded through the phone. "I miss you too, Axl. You're supposed to apologise to Alec first, but fuck it's hard staying away from you. Is it really that fucking hard to say you're sorry?"

"Not how Alec wants it." Axl was glad to hear that at least she wanted him back as much as he wanted her. "He's just on about these stupid lessons to turn me into a 'suitable' boyfriend for you. I fucking hate it."

"Yet just two days ago you mentioned something to Alec about friendship. He does tell me these things, Axl. He might have said yes if you hadn't been a stuck-up asshole to him right after that. He could probably use a decent friend, because his only friends are guards, or Theodore or... You know what, I've changed my mind. We need to talk face to face."

"Really?" Axl asked, unable to hide his sudden surge of hope.

"Don't get so eager, dipshit. We're not getting back together, this is just to talk. I need to talk to Alec about something first, then I'll come around afterwards, okay?"

"Yes. Shit yes. I'll be waiting for you." Axl looked around his room which had become quite a dump despite having very few possessions to scatter around. He would need to clean before her arrival.

"Good," Jane replied firmly, then her voice softened. "See you soon Axl." The call ended before he could respond.

In a panicked rush, Axl scrambled around his room to make it look presentable. He didn't have many clothes, but all of them aside from the ones he was wearing seemed to have found their way to the floor, waiting to be washed. He straightened up the furniture, made the bed, and scrubbed away a few blood stains that he wasn't sure when or how they had gotten there. When he was done he looked around and figured it looked a little too clean, so he dumped a tshirt on the floor and messed up the bed sheets a little and decided he was done.

Then there was the waiting game. He had cleaned too fast, and now there was nothing to do until Jane's arrival.

An eternity seemed to have come and gone before there finally came a knock on the front door.

"I'll get it!" he called out to Emma, just in case she was still in the house. She had been last he knew.

He rushed to the door and yanked it open to see Jane, his Jane, standing there looking at him. He smirked, if only to hide a smile. "Took you long enough, bitch," he taunted playfully.

"You're just as much of an asshole as when I last saw you," she smirked. It was obviously a compliment. Insults was their way of flirting.

Jane stepped through the door, pushing past him and heading for the living room. After closing the door behind her, Axl followed her through and took a seat as close beside her as he felt he could without her snapping at him.

"So what's going on with you and Alec?" she questioned.

Axl felt suddenly flushed and was glad he couldn't blush. "What?" he asked with a tiny, almost-unnoticeable stammer. He had buried those small dark thoughts about Alec deep within his mind. Had Alec seen something in him despite his efforts to hide it?

"Why do you hate him again? Did he say something to offend you or something?" Jane asked, and he let out a small sigh of relief. He had jumped to the worst conclusion.

He shook his head in reply. "I've always hated him. What's the big deal?" a snare was forming on his lips at the thought of Alec.

"What the fuck happened, then?" Jane questioned. "Did Wynter say something to you again?"

"No!" Axl replied, a little louder than intended. "No," he repeated quieter. "I haven't even told her I'm back in Italy." He searched his head for some explanation he could give Jane, because he knew she was going to pester him until he gave her some answer. That's just the way she was. "I'm just fucking sick of this whole act. I've been working my ass off trying to pretend like I actually get along with Alec just so I can get you back, and I've seen shit-all results. I've had enough. I just want you again, that's all. No more Alec." He put a hand to her cheek, looking into her eyes. Jane let it stay there for a few seconds before she took hold of his wrist and pulled his hand away. However instead of dropping his wrist, she let her fingers fall into his palm, her thumb caressing his knuckles.

"Is that really all?" she asked, scrutinising his face.

Axl nodded, his eyes locked on to hers. He needed her to believe him, because he couldn't let anyone find that small infection in his mind. He needed to lock it away before it could grow.

Jane looked away in thought. "Maybe I can take over with those lessons Alec's been giving you. It never was his obligation to teach you have to behave anyway. He just went ahead and did it. You can apologise to him when you're ready, but that better be fucking soon." She looked back at him with stern eyes.

"You want to teach me?" he replied, a small smile threatening to form on his lips. He didn't smile often, but the idea of not having to spend time with Alec again, plus spending a lot of time with Jane made him want to celebrate.

Jane nodded, and he didn't fail to notice her tongue flicking across her lips as she looked at him. "Fuckit," she muttered then hugged him tight, her head burying into his shoulder. Bewildered and pleased, Axl scooped her up onto his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, his nose nuzzled into her hair. She didn't protest, instead relaxing into his chest.

"Fuck, Axl," she murmured, her voice muffled by his shoulder. "See _this_ is why I didn't want to see you sooner. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist you if I let myself lay eyes on you again." She sighed, and Axl felt her nose trailing up the side of his neck. "I told myself I was stronger than this, and that I could visit you without giving in to the temptation." Her face came into view before his. "Well fuck."

Her lips were on his, and Axl kissed back with everything he had, missing the way she used to make him feel. If only he had never left her, those dark thoughts would never had happened. Everything from the way she moved her lips against his from how her body felt in his arms felt familiar. It was like going back in time to before they had broken up. Except it wasn't. Not quite. He couldn't understand how, but it didn't feel quite the same as he remembered.

As Jane pulled back from the kiss, she smirked at him. "Fuck I missed you." Her gaze flickered to his lips then back to his eyes.

"So I can call you my girlfriend again?" he asked, wearing a smirk to match.

She nodded firmly and then they were kissing again before anymore words could be spoken. Axl only wished he could make their kisses feel like they used to.


	15. Chapter 15

**Part 15**

After three whole weeks of avoiding him, running into Alec again sent a shock down Axl's spine. The location itself wasn't anything out of the ordinary. He had been spending so much time with Jane in the last three weeks that she had gotten frustrated at him for stopping her from working, so for the past few days he had been hanging out in her office while she typed up reports and did god-knows-what-else on her laptop. Axl didn't mind, so long as he got to keep her company.

He'd told himself it would probably take him a week for him to slip back into the habit of being with Jane. That's why it felt off on that first day. At the end of the week, nothing had changed. _Two weeks, then_ - he had told himself. The third week had passed and he was beginning to feel decidedly uncomfortable. So he kept pushing himself to spend as much time as possible with Jane, so he could spend no time at all with his treacherous thoughts on Alec.

So when he left Jane's office and almost walked straight into Alec, he found himself frozen. They less than a foot apart and he could see every fleck in Alec's deep red eyes. They were hard eyes, world wary. He used to think that Alec was completely expressionless most of the time, but his eyes told of barriers and defences built up over more than three hundred years. It was as if there was an electric current between them, carried through their eye contact alone.

Then a heavy tug at his arm unglued his feet from the floor. Jane had grabbed his elbow and pulled him away from Alec at a hurried pace without a word. Axl was so caught up in denying what had just happened that it took him a while to notice that Jane refused to look at her brother. She kept a firm grip on his arms as they went downstairs and through the tunnels.

"What was that about?" he asked, words stumbling out of his mouth as he finally managed to get his tongue wrapped around them.

"I should ask you the same thing," Jane muttered. Her grip on his elbow was growing painful. Their pace never slowed.

"You've been ignoring Alec," he pointed out, ignoring her last statement. He couldn't think straight enough to give a decent answer right now.

"Well spotted, dumbshit."

Axl hadn't even noticed. But now that he looked back on it, he had been spending as many hours a day as he could with Jane and not once had he seen her exchange a word with Alec. He had been focusing so much on avoiding Alec himself that he had failed to notice she was doing the same.

"Why?" he asked, confused.

Jane's face was arranged in a permanent scowl. "None of your business." She finally let the pace slow. They were already halfway out of the city.

"Is it because of me?"

"None. Of. Your. Business," she repeated slowly and deliberately through gritted teeth.

An awkward silence fell between them as they continued through the tunnel.

It wasn't until they reached a narrow stone stairway that they spoke again. At the top of the stairs was the hut where he and Alec used to meet up. Axl tried not to think of that. Jane was looking at him in a way that made him look uncomfortable. He found it hard to look at her for long.

"You can talk to me, you know," Jane finally spoke. Her hand reached up to caress the side of his neck. "You haven't been right since we got back together. Whatever the fuck happened between you and Alec-"

"Nothing happened," Axl interrupted with a defensive growl.

"Axl, just fucking talk to me! Please," she pleaded, her other arm reaching around her neck. She pulled him into a hug, ducking her face against his neck.

He hugged her back, although his mood was on edge. "There's nothing to talk about." Nothing he could talk about anyway.

Jane gave a heavy sigh. "Well if you ever change your mind, you know you can talk to me, right? You can trust me."

He nodded. There was nothing much more he could say. He accepted a kiss from her, but no matter how much he scolded his own mind, he still couldn't make it feel right. It was like that spark between them had disappeared.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay Asshole." Jane said, stepping back.

"Later, bitch," he replied with an old phrase and a smirk that wasn't quite genuine. He made his way up the stairs as she disappeared back the way they had come.

It was only as he stepped out of the hut that he let his mind linger momentarily on his encounter with Alec. He felt like he had been struck by electricity. More so, he felt like he needed to throw up. The virus-like thoughts hiding in his mind were supposed to remain dormant. Yet he had to acknowledge that they had been nagging at him ever since the day he had been infected. Now they were growing, infecting him until he felt so unclean and vile that nothing could wash the horror away.

Instead of going home, he sat down on the dirt and gripped a tree root so tight that it crumbled to dust under his fingers.

It was getting too hard to deny anymore. He already hated himself for having such thoughts. He didn't think he could handle accepting that they were true. Denial had always been easier. He drew up his knees, hugging his arms around them as he if were protecting himself from some demon out to get him. He was scared. _I'm not gay_, he told himself firmly, then shuddered at the word and at his own uncertainty. Never would he be able to get over the self-hatred if he was. He tucked his head under his arms, closed his eyes and thought of Jane. Jane and all the sweet moments and harsh kisses they had shared, all the times he had been in pure bliss because she was at his side, feeling his love for her disappear- _NO!_ He shouted the word in his own head, beginning to hyperventilate despite not actually needing to breathe. If it wasn't for the irregular breathing, then he'd snap some other way. He was still in love with Jane, wasn't he? _Wasn't he?_ Alec's face popped into his head. Those red eyes. He had felt the need for some kind of physical contact. Even something as simple as clasped hands. A kiss. _No._ It was too wrong. Too vile. Too horrible. Why was he thinking that? His hyperventilating turned into a choked sob. What was this? Axl Drake did not cry. Axl Drake was not gay either. He hated gays. He detested him. They were horrible, disgusting abominations. He was _not_ one of them.

His mind was betraying him, and he could do nothing more than sit there dripping in self-loathing.


	16. Chapter 16

Drama in this chapter. Woo!

**Part 16**

He could not smirk, let alone smile the next day when Jane visited. After another argument very much in the same tune as their last conversation, he slumped face down on his bed in frustration and expected Jane to leave.

But she didn't. Her weight on the mattress told him she had laid herself down next to him. He wasn't looking at her, but soon enough he could feel her fingers in his hair, soothing him. A few minutes past before he managed to gather himself up enough to shuffle closer and bury his face into her shoulder. His body pressed up against her side, their legs tangling as if he could rid himself of his confused thoughts if only he could get close enough to her. They hadn't even slept together since reinstating their relationship. He had never been in the mood to.

He didn't know what to do with himself anymore. All his attempts to rid himself of unwanted thoughts were failing. He couldn't force himself to fall for Jane again. He had tried, so hard. He couldn't even tell her he didn't love her anymore. That would hurt her too much, and he still cared for her, even if it wasn't in that way anymore.

"You know I love you, Axl," Jane whispered softly.

Axl nodded but couldn't bring himself to speak the appropriate reply. Her words had only made him feel worse. If he couldn't deny everything what was happening to him, then he hoped that at the very least it could all just be a phase. He didn't have to listen to what his traitor body was telling him.

Fuckit. He _wanted_ to know where Alec was, to know how he was doing, to find out what was behind those shielded eyes.

The resulting shudder of self-hatred alerted Jane.

"Axl...?"

He lifted his head from her shoulder and moved up to kiss her before she could ask anything more. He couldn't handle more questions right now. She responded as she usually did, but he still didn't feel anything. He forcefully deepened the kiss, trying to draw _some_ of the old feelings out of it. He couldn't live with himself if this didn't work. More. He had to push harder, to force himself to revert back. Pushing up from the mattress, he lowered his body down on top of hers, trying to bring back his desire for her. Jane's legs wrapped around his hips as she responded more than he was. He felt like he was merely copying what he had done in the past, rather than finding the heat of the moment. Even with his hands all over her he could not find what he was looking for.

His lips were half way down her neck when he stopped. Nothing felt right anymore. He couldn't bring himself to go any further. He wanted to _want_ to go further, but that wasn't happening. His body went still, his face pressed into her shoulder, to ashamed to look her in the eye. "I want to die," he muttered under his breath. For the first time ever he actually felt the temptation of suicide.

"What did you say?" Jane asked cautiously. He had no idea what she thought of him suddenly stopping.

Axl gasped in some air to breathe, but the gasp ended up very much like a sob. He had had enough of crying yesterday, he scolded himself. "I want to die!" he said louder, almost too loud. His fingers gripped the bed sheets in tight fists and he turned his head to lay his cheek against Jane's shoulder, looking away from her. His eyes were stinging, as if he could actually produce tears.

"Fuck, Axl."

Jane pushed him off her, making him lie on his back so she could look at him. Except he refused to look at her. He turned his head away, looking anywhere but at her.

"You are _NOT_ going to die, and you are _NOT_ going to do anything stupid. You hear me?" Jane said firmly.

A blurry shape in his peripheral vision told him Jane had sat up.

"Just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you," she pleaded. "You're not you anymore. I want my old Axl back. The one who used to be crazily obsessed with me and would actually _talk_ to me."

He wanted that Axl back too.

"You're sure Alec's not the reason behind this?"

He nodded, although it would be nice to blame him for infecting him with his gay.

"Is it Wynter?"

He shook his head.

"Me?"

Another headshake.

There was a pause which made him more tense with each passing second.

"Do you... still love me?"

Axl froze up, unable to answer. To say yes was a lie and to say no would break her heart.

She pieced it together anyway.

The movement of the mattress told him she had gotten off the bed. She was pacing. He could gather that much from the sound of her footsteps.

"Axl, I-" Jane cut herself off, but Axl could tell she was about to cry just from the way her voice wobbled.

The door slammed and she was gone.

Axl groaned, his death wish returning with twice the strength. Not even his beloved pain could save him now. He wanted to lie there and rot until he existed no more.


	17. Chapter 17

**Part 17**

Axl Drake was lost. He didn't know what to do with himself. In his depression it felt like there was nothing he could do to make himself happy ever again. After Jane left, he packed his bag but barely made it onto the road to the airport before he gave up and returned home to collapse on his bed. The day after, he tried calling his sister Wynter, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her anything. After a meaningless, short conversation he hung up. On the third day scrubbed every surface of his room clean until it smelt entirely of citrus-scented cleaning product and Jane's scent was gone entirely. One thing he refused to do was eat. He could go a week without blood and not be bothered too much. One week had passed on the day of his cleaning spree. It was his punishment, he decided. But even that punishment was enough for him. He needed to _suffer_.

If only it were possible to curl up in a ball and die.

Emma was getting worried, as if she hadn't been before. Already wound up tight, he screamed at her to leave him alone, only to feel guilty about it later. He wanted to be able to tell her what was wrong, he really did, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Especially not when he couldn't even figure out his own head. He was a mess, and trampling his life into ruins while he was at it.

On the fourth day he hung around the hut that marked the tunnel entrance instead. He had spent far too much time sulking at Emma's villa. Not that he was doing anything different here. Every so often his eyes darted to the hut door, and he hated the part of him that hoped that Alec would come out. He wasn't on duty today, he knew that much.

The usual time they used to meet came and went. Axl didn't know whether to be sad or relieved that Alec hadn't come. However with the whole day to think about it, he had come to the conclusion that perhaps Alec was the best person to help him figure out the mess of his head. He had to at least be able to help him figure out if he was actually gay.

Axl wore a sudden scowl. Not in _that_ way, he scolded himself.

He spent the next afternoon there too, and the one after that despite knowing that Alec would be on duty and unable to come. His eyes had gone jet black with his thirst. By the fourth day waiting outside the hut, he had finally begun to acknowledge that he actually wanted to see Alec again, if only for his own sanity.

On the sixth day he knew Alec wouldn't be on duty, and therefore free to visit the hut. He was tense, and also twitchy from the burning in his throat. He hadn't fed in two weeks and it was painful.

He wanted to give up on visiting the hut, but for lack of a better idea, he persisted. He hadn't heard from Jane, despite keeping his phone with him at all times. He hadn't bothered trying to contact her either. What more could he say?

On the eighth day he sat by himself with his back against a tree as he shredded dead leaves. It was only as the familiar soft footsteps on stone stairs met his ears that he froze. A second later a mild panic set in. Did he really want to see Alec after all? Perhaps he should hide, he thought. Or run away. The door opened before he could make up his confused mind.

That jolt was there again, the moment he laid eyes on Alec standing in the doorway. The afternoon sunlight peeked through small gaps in the tree canopy, making him skin shimmer wherever it touched his skin. Had he always been that gorgeous? Axl mentally slapped himself for that thought looked down at the leaf he was shredding.

"Demetri told me you keep coming here," Alec commented.

Demetri the Volturi's tracker, or the stalker, as Axl liked to label him.

He continued looking down at his leaf as Alec walked over to him and sat down next to him. He felt his spine go stiff with the proximity, but he tried to act as if Alec wasn't affecting him so.

"Jane is really upset. She told me you don't love her anymore. Is that what the problem has been all along?" Alec asked calmly.

Axl continued to tear his leaf and didn't answer.

"I have not seen Jane this upset since you last left her," Alec commented as he if did not need a reply. "Despite her giving me the cold shoulder for three weeks, it was my duty as her twin to comfort her. You may be pleased to know that we are on speaking terms again."

Axl didn't answer, but simply picked up a new leaf to tear. He didn't know what he was doing. After wanting to see Alec again so badly, he was awfully quiet. It was as if his brain had shut down all forms of communication before he could say something stupid. Alec's presence, at least, was calming on its own.

"As much as I detest you, Axl, for hurting my sister, I know how it is to fall out of love. Or, close to, anyhow. I was not in love with LeBeau, but what feelings I did have for him were lost and I could not get them back. Not nearly as dramatic as the scene you created, I know, but I do at least understand."

After that, Alec seemed content merely to sit there in silence.

A few minutes passed. Once Axl could be sure that Alec was looking in the other direction, he took the chance to finally look at him. He was so close he could just reach out and touch him. It made his fingertips twitch, but he kept to himself. Compared to him, Alec had great posture, sitting straight-backed as he stared serenely out through the trees. The expression he saw in profile was neutral as always, but he was curious what thoughts went on behind the mask.

What he really wanted to know was if he actually was interested in Alec or if his mind was tricking him. He hadn't felt any of that attraction when he first met him. Why now? Would he be able to live with himself if he come to the conclusion that he was gay?

"How did you find out," he broke the silence after ten, perhaps fifteen minutes had passed, "that you're bisexual?"

He had returned to shredding leaves by the time Alec looked back at him. He wasn't sure if he was imagining the studying look he saw Alec giving him out of the corner of his eye, but he refused to look directly at him to find out.

"That," Alec said slowly, "took many years. I thought I was heterosexual, at first. I knew I found girls attractive. Then when I was in my forties I met Leo. We got to know each other as friends, but I was in denial for most of a year. I did eventually admit my feelings for him and we were together for two years. We told everyone that we were just friends, because both of us were too ashamed to admit the truth. Leo was the first person I had felt so intensely about. I thought I was entirely gay. It was only after that ended that I began thinking about girls again. It took me quite a while to come to the conclusion that I am attracted to both genders equally."

Axl wanted to ask more, but he was afraid to. He wanted to know if the confusion he felt was normal. If anything he felt was normal.

"So even _you_ were embarrassed to be gay?" he asked, deciding that that question was harmless enough. "I thought you were fine with it."

"I am now," Alec shrugged. "I was afraid at the time. You know how the world saw things back then. Even these days the world is full of homophobes like you. I was outcast enough with my freaky power and devilish nature. I was scared of being thrown out of my family for who I chose to love."

"You - scared?" Axl raised an eyebrow, then as soon as eye contact was made he hastily looked down at his leaf again.

"Believe it or not, Axl, I do feel emotion," Alec replied in a voice that was ironically devoid of emotion.

"Did you feel disgusted with yourself for being gay?" he asked, trying not to sound curious.

"Bisexual," he corrected. "At the time, yes. But I soon came to realise that bisexuality, homosexuality and so forth are not bad things. It is just another part of life and now I cannot comprehend why people cannot accept that. It is nothing to be ashamed of."

Axl wanted to believe that, so desperately. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking that his own thoughts for Alec were utterly disgusting. "I can't comprehend why you _can_ accept it," he sneered. He wasn't sure if he wanted to shield himself with his words to stop Alec from guessing the truth, or if he was trying to push Alec to say something that would truly convince him that what was going on in his head was alright.

"Why?" Alec questioned.

"Why?" Axl repeated, wondering why that question needed to be asked. For a second he caught himself staring at Alec and he quickly looked away. "Because it's disgusting, gross, immoral, and it's a sin. Gay couples don't even have the right.. parts. It works out all wrong."

"Ah, so there is some religious reasoning in there. To be honest, Axl, I assumed you were an Atheist. Which religion do you follow?"

The question threw Axl a little off guard and he wasn't sure how to answer. "Uh... I don't know," he shrugged. "Protestant, I guess. That's what I used to be anyway. Now I don't know which religion is right, because there's a shit-load out there and they keep changing every time I look. I believe that God exists and that if there's a Hell, that's where I'm going. I'm the biggest sinner you'll ever meet."

The next time he chanced a glance at Alec, he swore he saw a small smirk on the boy's face.

"I would label you as Agnostic," he commented.

"More like confused," Axl muttered, then quickly added, "about what to believe," just to clarify. "What has this got to do with gays being gross and all that?"

"That depends on how much you let your beliefs influence your opinion on homosexuality. Through experience I have found religion and homophobia to be very closely linked," Alec shrugged. "There is a Catholic Priest employed by the Volturi that you can talk to, if you ever wish to consider Catholicism."

"Thanks," Axl scowled ungratefully. He knew he would be a horrible Catholic: a killer for hire with inappropriate thoughts about one boy in particular and suicidal wishes thrown into the mix.

"I cannot change your opinion on homosexuality being 'gross'," Alec continued. "Not easily anyhow, unless you are willing to be persuaded. As for same-sex couples not having the right... parts, there are ways around that."

Axl was about to ask how, then decided he didn't want to know. He wasn't about to get a gay sex education from Alec.

"Any more questions on sexuality?" he heard Alec ask after a moment, to which he replied by shaking his head quickly. There were other things he could ask, but he didn't want to right now.

"Good. Then I have a question for you," Alec continued. "Is this subject related to why you have been so moody lately?"

A look of utter disgust appeared on Axl's face, although inwardly he was panicking. "Fuck no," he replied harshly. "I was just asking," he quickly added with a shrug, trying to act as if it was nothing. This was one of those times he wished he was good at acting.

He kept his gaze firmly on his hands, the last leaf shredded into pieces so small there was hardly anything left. More than anything, he wanted to know what Alec was thinking, but he was afraid to look up.

"You know..." Alec spoke slowly, and Axl felt a hand rest on his arm, making him flush, "it is ok if you are-"

"I am NOT gay!" Axl shouted, scrambling away from Alec's touch as if he had been electrocuted. In half a second he was on his feet, backing away.

For the first time he saw a clear expression of sympathy on Alec's face. "I know it can be confusing-"

"I'm not gay!" he interrupted a second time, practically pleading Alec to believe him. He would be happier if he could believe his own words. "You're just jealous that I'm not available for you now that I'm not with Jane anymore. Go back to Theodore, asshole," he sneered, turning his back and storming away.

Footsteps behind him told him Alec was following.

"Fag!" he called out over his shoulder, speeding up as he tried to get rid of him. After several more insults failed to do the job, he spun around, marched up to Alec and shoved him as hard as he could. Alec only stumbled, his balance and reflexes good enough to keep him on his feet. He did not retaliate. "Get the fuck out of my life!" Axl shouted at him. "I never wanted to hang out with you in the first place. You're nothing but an annoying queer trying to pollute my mind with your queer stuff and I hate you! I hate you and I _never_ want to see you again!" He wanted to turn around and storm right off, but he was momentarily caught off-guard by the hurt look on Alec's face. It was the most emotion he had ever seen him express. He lingered a few seconds too long before he finally managed to tear himself away.

Then he ran.


	18. Chapter 18

Third-to-last chapter, guys.

**Part 18**

It was past midnight by the time Axl finally went back to Emma's house and collapsed in his room. He had been terrified that Alec would be waiting there for him, so he was relieved to find the house completely empty. Even Emma was out somewhere. He checked his phone for the first time in several hours in case she had left him a message. There was one from Alec.

Scowling, he chucked his phone onto the floor without reading it then lay down and covered his face with a pillow. A second later the pillow went flying as he scrambled to get his phone and read the message.

_'You are right, I am jealous. I did not think I would start liking you again when our lessons began. That is my mistake and I have paid for it. Jane found out and that is the reason she stopped speaking to me. She gets jealous too. She tried to stop you from seeing me. I had myself convinced that you are homophobic because you are insecure with your sexuality. Perhaps I was wrong. I will, as you so eloquently put it, 'get the fuck out' of your life.'_

Axl read the entire message twice over, wishing he could block off emotion because he felt like it was about to come crashing down on him. His first and foremost thought was of Alec's confession that he liked him, then of the hurt look he had last seen him wear. This was accompanied by flushed delight, guilt, then self-loathing. If he was going to like a guy, he could have at least picked someone who wasn't his ex-girlfriend's twin.

He couldn't bring himself to reply. The message clearly didn't require it anyway. He wanted to feel happy that Alec was officially out of his life now, but he couldn't. That hurt expression was haunting his thoughts, and whenever he managed to rid himself of that image, the realisation that he actually liked Alec in that way took over the job of haunting him. He groaned, unable to fight his own traitor mind.

When Emma returned home as the sun rose, he ventured out to offer her an apology for shouting at her in his moodiness. He was sick of the guilt and depression constantly weighing down on him, and that was at least one thing to ease his mind. What he did not expect was to end up crying tearlessly onto her shoulder as he tried to explain the mess of his head. For the first time he whispered out loud, _"I think I'm gay,"_ before shuddering, disgusted with himself.

Despite feeling completely awkward and embarrassed about breaking down in front of his best friend, it did help clear his head. Sitting on the end of his bed, he stared at his phone for the longest time before finally dialling Alec's number.

It took less than a second for Alec to answer the call, although he did not speak, leaving the line silent.

Axl opened his mouth to speak, finding it difficult to say anything at all. He shut his mouth again and took a deep breath. Quietly, feeling ashamed, he murmured "Sorry," into the phone then quickly pressed the end-call button. He sighed, frustrated, then lay down face up on his bed, eyes closed and clutching his phone in one hand.

He was still like than an hour and a half later when someone knocked at his bedroom door.

"What?" he grunted, expecting that Emma had come to check on him or something.

As the door opened he turned his head and saw Alec cautiously peeking his head into the room. Like lightning Axl sat up and scrambled backwards to rest his back against the wrought iron headboard, putting even more distance between them.

Alec lingered near the open door, looking nervous for a change. "I brought you something to drink," he said, holding up a thermal flask. He could barely even look at Axl, which was unusual. "I can leave, if you w-"

"Stay," Axl interrupted, then bit his lip. There was no doubt his thirst was getting intolerable, but that wasn't the reason he wanted him to stick around. "Sorry," he murmured for the second time that day. Now it was his turn to barely be able to keep eye contact due to his shyness. "I shouldn't have called you 'fag' and 'queer' and all those other names. I've been fucking horrible to you." He drew his arms around his knees, hoping he had made up for that hurt look he had seen on Alec's face just yesterday.

The sound of the door closing made him look up, and he was surprised to see Alec still there. He twitched only a little when Alec moved across the room to sit on the opposite corner of the bed. The flask was rolled across the bed sheets and Axl grabbed it hungrily. The delicious smell of blood came wafting out the moment he opened the lid, and the next moment he was gulping it down without restraint. It had been stupid to go so many days without hunting. The contents was gone too soon, and he lowered the flask, licking his lips hungrily. He caught sight of Alec staring at him and quickly withdrew his tongue back into his mouth.

"That is the first time," Alec commented, "that I have seen you give a sincere apology."

Axl's eyes widened in surprise. "Fuck, really?"

"Sixty three euros." A tiny smirk played around Alec's lips, and it took a moment for Axl to remember their swear-tally. "Yes, really," Alec continued. "Apology accepted."

Axl relaxed a little. "Wait, is that just for yesterday or for all the bad stuff I've said to you?" he asked.

"That depends. Were you apologising for everything or just yesterday?"

"Everything. I don't know," he shrugged. "Sorry anyway." For the first time he actually did feel bad about the number of times he had insulted Alec for his sexuality. He had the feeling Alec hadn't been able to help it just as much as he couldn't. "Do you honestly like me?" he blurted out, then ducked his gaze in embarrassment.

It stopped him from seeing Alec's expression in the silence that drew out before he replied. "Yes... You are the real reason I broke up with Theodore. I didn't like that I felt that way, actually. I knew that I stood no chance with you, but I did have to accept that I no longer felt that way for him."

Axl nervously looked up to see that Alec was the one looking away.

"I feel bad about that, actually," Alec continued. "I told you before, I have an unfortunate habit of making bad decisions when I heed emotion rather than logic. I pick all the wrong people to develop a crush on, and the logical side of me always tells me no. Theodore was the one right one, and I am the one that ruined it. Now here I am liking my sister's ex-boyfriend, which can only end in disaster for one or both of us."

"What does your logical side tell you now?" he asked, curious.

Alec fidgeted a little. "That I should leave you alone and stay well away from you. Not only are you not well-mannered or respectful enough to the Volturi to be in a relationship with a guard member, Jane is still in love with you and I do not think I can do that to her."

"Oh." Axl looked down, unsure what else to say. He felt guilty, too, now that he thought of how much he had hurt Jane. That guilt had been overshadowed lately by his own confusion.

"D-Do you... do you... like me back?"

Axl had to look up to double check that it was actually Alec that had asked that. He had never heard him stutter before. He didn't think he was capable. Realising what the question was, he rapidly shook his head then ducked his head, pressing his forehead against his knees and wrapping his arms tighter around his legs. "I'm not gay," he grumbled. "I don't want to be gay."

He expected Alec to blow his last sentence out of proportion, but he heard no reply. Instead he felt weight shifting on the mattress as Alec moved up to sit beside him, back against the headboard. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder that made him flinch and hiss, causing Alec to withdraw it quickly. If he had let Alec leave it there, then he would have to admit to himself that he liked him. It was bad enough that he had spoken out loud to Emma the _possibility_ that he was gay.

"Sorry," Alec muttered, shifting away.

Cringing at himself, Axl flung out his arm to grab Alec's hand before he could get very far. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. _Let go_, he scolded himself, keeping his head buried in his knees because he was too ashamed to even look at Alec right now. But the contact felt too good to let go. He had wanted to hold that hand ever since he had caught Alec scratching in the dirt with it. What horrified him the most was the fact that it felt right, just as it no longer felt right with Jane. Timidly, he turned Alec's hand in his own to weave their fingers together. "I hate myself," he finally murmured, upset with what was going through his head.

"Don't." Alec's weight settled next to him again. "There is nothing wrong with liking guys. I will say that a million more times if I need to. Your biggest concern is Jane's wrath." There was a small smirk in his voice, and Axl liked to picture that there was a matching smirk on his face.

"I don't want to be gay," he repeated, then squeezed Alec's hand. He still couldn't bring himself to actually look at him.

"Well seeing as you have had a girlfriend," Alec replied, "my best guess is that you are bisexual like I am. Having feelings for a guy does not automatically make your feelings for girls void."

"I don't even know if I really do like guys, or if this is just a... thing, I don't know. Fuck."

He felt Alec shift his hand from one hand to the other, then and arm fell across his shoulders. He didn't flinch away this time.

"Experimentation helps," Alec suggested. "And time. You have plenty of time for that, provided Jane doesn't kill you."

Axl managed a weak chuckle, then lifted his head and buried it in Alec's shoulder instead. Every shred of disgust and self-hatred was still there, but it was easier to shut out when he found himself relaxing against the soft, rich fabric of Alec's jacket. "I might welcome Jane killing me," he muttered, sighing. A second later he got up off the bed, eliminating all contact with Alec. "Fuck, just kill me now," he groaned, pacing.

"You clearly need to sort yourself out," Alec said, watching him pace. "I miss how it used to be between us, before you became moody and defensive the whole time. We used to drift off into random conversations, and I would be able to make you laugh and... sort of smile. Smirk, would be a better word for it. Even that time you made me shout out curse words was fun."

"I'm always moody," Axl scowled defensively.

"Not like this. You need to decide if you want to be with me or not, because I will not wait for you forever."

"I don't want to be with you," he snapped, then he knelt on the bed and took Alec's hand once again, completely contradicting himself. "I don't want to want to be with you. I don't want to like you. I don't want to keep thinking about you _all_ the fucking time."

"Calm, Axl," Alec said softly.

Axl bit his lip and turned away from him, letting his legs hang over the edge of the bed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to so much as look at Alec again, but he clung to his hand all the same.

"What you should do now," Alec continued, "is take a moment to think about the reasons you want this, and the reasons you do not. Figure out what is more important to you."

Axl stared at his feet, scuffling across the floor as he swung them. He didn't even know where to begin. "How the fuck did you do it?" he asked. "You make it look so easy."

"Believe me, it was anything but. What I did know, though, was that I wanted Leo. I knew that I would be happy with him. What held me back was what my peers would think of me. I do admit that to this day I have not gotten over what held me back. I have kept my sexuality a secret from just about everybody. Jane is the only person I admitted it to. My brother Demetri and my Master Aro know, thanks to their gifts. So no, it has not been easy. However, allowing myself to accept my sexuality was freeing, in a way. I was free to be happy with Leo and it was most certainly worth it."

"Is it worth it if you hate yourself every single day for the rest of eternity?" Axl grumbled.

He heard a sigh from behind him, then Alec's fingers squeezed his hand as a comforting gesture. "Probably not," Alec answered. "Then again, if we can eliminate the reasons why you would hate yourself, then maybe it will not be so bad."

How the fuck Alec could think there was a way he could just switch off the self-hatred was beyond him. He had spent the past four hundred and fourteen years of his life believing that gays were an abomination. It had always been wrong for a man to love a man, no question about it. He had never been able to accept it in others, and now he was supposed to miraculously accept it in himself. The only way he could stop hating himself would be if he could forget about Alec and be in love with Jane again.

He used to think he was crazy for being so obsessed with her. Now he just missed how it used to feel just to kiss her. It had been so simple back then. There were no regrets, just love. Now all he was left with was his messed up feelings for Alec. Hesitantly, he looked over his shoulder at him letting himself wonder for only a few seconds what it would be like to kiss him.

"I need to think about this," he finally spoke. He was ashamed of himself for being incapable of simply saying no to a relationship with him despite everything going on in his head.

"Clearly," Alec nodded. "How about you tell me more about your brother Nathaniel, and his influence on your opinion of homosexuality."

Axl watched as Alec lay down on the bed with his head on the pillows and made himself comfortable. It had been quite a while ago that he had told him about Nathaniel. He was surprised and flattered that Alec bothered to remember.

Following his impulses this time, he lay down on the bed too, although there was no contact between them aside from their linked hands. He bit his lip, wanting to snuggle up to Alec's side, but his head told him no. It felt uncomfortable for him, lying there beside him neither approaching him or backing away. His body was in the same half-way state as his mind, caught and unable to move in either direction. Then he did move, as the awkwardness grew too much, this time towards Alec to rest his head against his shoulder and nothing more. He wasn't ready for anything more, but this he could handle.

With a deep sigh he began speaking about Nathaniel.


	19. Chapter 19

Second-to-last chapter!

**Part 19**

Standing outside Jane's door, Axl hesitated to knock. She was upset, that much he knew without Alec having to tell him. He didn't know how he could comfort her, but he still wanted to see her, not as her boyfriend, but as her friend. Alec stood at his side, and he could feel his eyes on him as he waited for him to let Jane know he was there. He wouldn't be coming in with him, Axl knew, but he had needed an escort in order to enter the Palazzo dei Priori.

Sucking up the courage, he knocked, then waited as Alec slipped away to his office. When she didn't answer right away, he was left to wonder if she was in at all. He knocked again, then managed a tiny smirk when he heard Jane's familiar grumbling on the other side. The door was yanked open, and he didn't fail to notice the signs of surprise on her face before her expression hardened.

"What do you want?" she demanded, lingering in the door way to block his way in.

She was the same old Jane that he remembered. For the first time he could really see them both becoming great friends, if only they could both let go of their past relationship.

"I want to talk to you," he replied honestly. "We haven't talked in over a week, and I thought maybe we should." His voice trailed off awkwardly. The last time they had talked, he had as good as told her he didn't love her anymore. He felt bad about hurting her like that, and even worse because his impact on Jane was affecting Alec too. "I know I've been a real prick and all, but I thought I could at least say sorry."

He watched as Jane pursed her lips, then looked both ways down the hallway for onlookers before dragging him into her room. As the door closed behind him, he caught sight of Jane glaring at him and felt even more ashamed. It would have made things so much easier if he could just fall back in love with her, but he couldn't. He didn't even feel like kissing her anymore, even though he knew how it used to make him feel.

"Alright then," Jane addressed him stiffly. "This better be a real fucking good apology." She stood at a distance from him, arms crossed defensively as if she needed to shield herself from whatever he was going to say.

Axl bit his lip, coming to realise that maybe she was more upset that he had thought. He had been so caught up in hating himself for liking Alec that he hadn't given Jane as much thought as she deserved. "I don't know what to say except that I wish you didn't have to hurt so much."

"Well it's too late for that, isn't it, fucktard?" Jane sneered.

"I know." Axl lowered his gaze to the floor, feeling horrible. He knew how well Jane hid her feelings behind the sneers and scowls. "If I could fall in love with you again, I would." He looked up as Jane stepped forward and took his hand.

"Why don't you?" she asked seriously. "We were together for months before we fell in love. Why can't we do that again? Maybe you just need more time to sort out whatever's going on in that head of yours."

He had to wonder if she would be so keen if he admitted that he liked someone else - her brother of all people.

"I already did try. When you took me back last month. I knew it didn't feel right with you even then, but I kept trying to fall back in love with you. That's why I was spending as much time with you as I could, so I could try love you again. I wish it would have worked, but it didn't and I hate myself for that."

Jane's hand slipped from his grasp and she backed away to sit on her bed. "What happened to us being forever?" she asked, and her voice wobbled at the end. Her expression turned stony, and Axl knew she was forcing back the emotions. She was too easy for him to read through, unlike Alec who was always too calm.

"I don't know," he shrugged and leaned his weight back against the door, hands in his pockets. "I wanted it to be. It just... wasn't."

"No shit, Sherlock."

The guilt made Axl hang his head, wishing his traitorous mind would let him love the right person. He was the one to blame, he had decided that long ago. If she wanted to kill him for it, then he supposed she had every right to. He didn't want to live with the guilt alongside all his messed up feelings for Alec.

"What's so wrong with me that you couldn't bear to be with me anymore?" Jane demanded. "I know I'm fucked up, but you used to actually like that about me. I _liked_ that you liked that about me."

"I still kinda do," Axl mumbled, but Jane talked over the top of him.

"Am I not _pretty_ enough for you? Is that it? Do I shout too much for your liking? Or have you finally realised just how fucked up I am and decided you can't stand it anymore?"

Axl was shaking his head but she seemed not to notice.

"For the first time in over three hundred years I thought I had found someone who could not only put up with me, but also _liked_ me for all my flaws. I know I have a shit-ton of them, but you had a way of making me actually feel good about them. And now you went and threw it all back in my face."

"I still like you," Axl interrupted, having to raise his voice, "just... not in that way."

"Then explain it to me," Jane demanded. He noticed her eyes had gone red as if she had been crying, although she was unable to shed a tear. "What the fuck is so wrong about me that you had to stop loving me?"

"It's not you," he tried to make her understand. "You're fucking amazing-"

"Oh please don't give me that," Jane sneered. "If I was that damn amazing I would have been able to keep you. You're the best fucking thing that ever happened to me. What happened? Did you meet someone else?"

Axl bit his lip, unable to give an answer.

Jane's eyes narrowed. "Who is she and where the fuck can I find her?"

The assumption that he had fallen for another girl made Axl wish that was the truth. It would be easier to explain than telling her he was falling for her brother. He took a step back, as Jane rose from the bed looking murderous, and heard a small thud as his foot collided with the door.

"Who the _fuck_ is she, Axl?" Jane spat. "When I find out who she is I will fucking KILL her!"

He believed she would actually do it too, and for a moment he was genuinely thankful that there wasn't another girl. Just another guy, and Alec was probably safer than any other guy, seeing as he was Jane's twin.

"Tell me!" Jane demanded, and Axl felt a wave of pain steadily rise through him, making him fall to his knees, crying out. "Who the fuck is she?"

Axl shook his head and curled up on the floor as the pain hit him again. He felt like he deserved to be tortured anyway. Usually he liked the sensations Jane's gift bought him, but now it only seemed to match his terrible mood. Next he knew he was being slammed into the door, Jane's hands around his neck as if she was about to rip his head off.

"There is no other girl," he choked out. She was cutting off his airways, and despite not needing air to breathe, he still needed it to speak. Her fingers gripped tighter, nails piercing through his skin and digging deeper. "I like Alec," he blurted out, then clenched his eyes shut as he waited for her to kill him. To his surprise, he felt Jane's hands disappear from his neck, and he thought she was gone until a moment later her foot connected with his head, sending him sprawling across the floor.

"Alec?" she questioned, her voice an octave higher than usual.

"Sorry," he mumbled, reaching his hand over the tender spot on his head where Jane had kicked him. "I didn't-" he grunted as her foot hit his stomach, "-want to start liking him. It just-" she kicked his leg, almost breaking it, "-happened. Sorry." He could easily have fought back, but he had lost the will to. He had hurt her, he had hurt himself, and he had hurt Alec. If only he had never met either of the twins. When he had first met Jane was when his life had started falling to pieces, even if he had been happy with her for a while. In his best efforts to patch things up with her family, his obsession for her had ended. It would be for the best, he decided, to get out of the twins lives for good, seeing as he couldn't turn back time and reverse the damage he had already done. What better way to get out of their lives than to let Jane kill him? For a moment, as he was being beaten by Jane, it struck him as amusing that after fearing death for so long, he had turned around to embrace it.

He barely noticed the footsteps outside the door until the door was opened and jammed against his body on the floor. "Axl! Jane!"

The voice was familiar to his ears, and he finally opened his eyes to weakly look up at Alec through the crack in the door. They made eye contact for all of a second before Jane moved to furiously slam the door. But Alec was faster, and he had his arm jammed through the crack, preventing the door from closing properly.

Axl winced as he sat up, pretty sure that several chunks of skin had be bitten out of him, but he didn't want to look. If there was any reason to fight back at all, it was for the chance that he could actually be happy with Alec. That meant he had two fights to win, the one against Jane, and the one against his own head. Death sounded so much easier, but as he raised his arm to defend himself from Jane's kick, he knew what he had chosen.

Gritting his teeth, he leaned back and kicked up at Jane from his position on the floor, hitting her upper leg hard enough to make her lose her fight with Alec over the door. Sore all over, he got to his feet and leapt at her, only to find himself in a state of confusion as his senses were stripped away from him. Last he remembered was falling, but he had never hit the ground as far as he was aware. He could see nothing, and pretty soon he recognised the sensation from the last time Alec had used his power on him. He could only hope that Jane had been sedated by his power too. Her temper was something to be reckoned with, he knew that well. Now that he had told her about his feelings for Alec, there was no telling what she would do to him. What did worry him was the familiar sound of ripping skin that had started right as the mist hit him. Someone had been injured, but he wouldn't know who until the mist was lifted.

Time quickly lost its meaning, as it had last time he was under the mist. Without Jane beating him up, he was left with the guilt, knowing that he was the reason she had lost it like that. Any sane person would have called her a psychotic monster for losing it to the point of wanting to commit murder, but he knew he would have done just the same had their roles been reversed. That had been quite possibly what had made them get along so well. Then again, they used to always be fighting. Play-fights, mostly, but real fights were still common. Everything had been a competition between them, their emotions always on high. Maybe what he did want was Alec and the emotional stability he provided.

It could have been ten minutes or an hour later, he did not know, but he was finally calming down and getting his thoughts in order. He didn't want to fight Jane anymore. What he really wanted was get away from her and wait for her to calm down too before trying to talk things through with her. If she would allow that. She made Alec look easy to talk to. At least Alec stayed quiet and listened and gave advice where he could, despite his lack of social skills. That was the plan, then. Step one was to get away from Jane until her temper cooled.

As the mist lifted, he found himself disoriented until he was able to figure out which way was up. He was sitting apparently, with something on his arm. Blinking, he tried to bring his vision back faster. He was still in Jane's room, that he was sure of. A white blur over the bed slowly came into focus, and he realised that Jane was lying there, still covered by the mist. Looking to his right, he came to find Alec looking right back at him. They were on Jane's sofa, he could see now. The thing on his arm was Alec's hand, and he looked down to see a thin scar wrapping around his arm right above the elbow. He had seen enough scars of that kind to know that his entire arm had been torn off. By Jane, obviously. It was nearly repaired now. Alec must have been holding his limb in place for while some time as it healed.

Now, more than ever, he wanted to kiss him, but then he looked guiltily over at where Jane lay on her bed, wrapped up in mist. "I feel terrible," he murmured quietly to Alec, glad Jane couldn't hear. "She doesn't even know how amazing she is, and now I've left her feeling like crap because I can't love her anymore. And now you've been dragged into it just because I like you and I can't help it. At least if I had started liking someone else entirely you would be able to give Jane the support she needs. But I've ruined that."

He looked to his right again, trying to read through the blank expression on Alec's face.

"Why _do_ you like me more than Jane?" Alec asked.

Axl shrugged with his good shoulder and looked back down at where Alec's hands held his healing arm. "I don't know. Because you actually listen to me, I guess." But he wasn't sure if that was entirely it. Jane had listened to him. Mostly. He used to love that they actually understood each other, and he supposed they still did, but he was starting to understand Alec too. "You're calm. I'm just a... a big bag of emotion, and so is Jane. We just make each other worse, sometimes. A lot, really. I know that I'm really temperamental and most of the time I'm just an asshole, so I think maybe I was subconsciously seeking out a balance to that. Jane's not that, but you are." It was only guesswork, but as he said it, it sounded right. He and Jane had been good for each other, but not great. They were a little too similar to each other, causing them to clash.

"That makes sense," Alec replied, looking at him thoughtfully.

Again, Axl found his gaze being drawn to his lips. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, he decided, to be with Alec. He would still have to battle his own stigma that came with being in a relationship with another guy, but for once he thought that maybe the fight would be worth it.

"We should wake Jane," Alec announced, looking away from Axl and towards the bed.

"Oh... yeah." The mist was still covering her, and Axl was not so keen on letting her wake and run on another rampage. He wanted to run for it, but as the mist slowly dissipated he knew better than to do that.

There was a movement at his side and he felt Alec let go of his injured arm before he got up and moved over to the bed. It was safer, Axl felt, to remain on the sofa at least for the time being. He could see Jane start to shift her limbs as she regained her senses. He was so focused on Jane that it took him a moment to notice Alec had bowed his head and clenched his fists into the bedsheets so tight his knuckles had turned even whiter than the rest of his skin.

"Jane, stop it!" In a second he was on his feet, ignoring the stinging of his mending arm as he quickly approached the bed.

Her gaze did not shift from Alec, and as Axl drew closer he was able to see that he had his face scrunched up in pain as he tried not to make a sound. Without a second thought he sat down in front of Alec to break her gaze. The moment he did so he was hit with the same intense pain she had been sending her twin just a second earlier. He cried out, wondering how Alec had managed to remain silent, and forced himself to stay sitting so that he could continue to block her view of her twin.

"Get the fuck out of my way," Jane snapped, sitting up and trying to push him aside. Axl felt the pain leave him for a second before he was able to move in front of Alec again. "You'll get your turn once I'm done with my own BOYFRIEND STEALING brother!"

It turned into a struggle as Axl tried to keep her gaze from Alec, which was proving difficult. Jane was livid, and quite literally out of control. "Alec, numb her!" he called out during a brief break from the pain, then he grabbed a pillow and tried to pin Jane down as he smothered her with it, trying to give Alec a long enough break to use his gift. Jane was already shredding the pillow to pieces as he saw the thin mist floating towards him. He felt his own muscles growing limp, and he caught sight of Jane's doing the same before he lost his vision entirely.

What was most likely only a few seconds later, Axl came to. He was standing now, or at least he was close to. A pair of arms had wrapped around his waist from behind to hold him up as he recovered from the mist. Once he had his feet back under him to take his weight, the arms let go, and he turned around to look at Alec.

"We should go," Alec said tonelessly, not looking at him, but at the bed where Jane was trapped in the mist once again.

Axl glanced over his shoulder at Jane, feeling even more horrible about what he did to her than before, then looked back at Alec and nodded. "Will the mist still stay there if you leave the room?" he asked, worried that the next time Jane woke she would storm out of her room to find them.

"Yes. For a little while. I will not be able to maintain it for long, especially as the distance between her and I increases."

Reluctantly he followed Alec out of the room, feeling bad about leaving Jane in the state she was in. It wasn't until they had entered the underground tunnels that Alec spoke again.

"She's free."

Axl nodded, growing tense as he waited in case Jane came charging up behind them to attack them both. All he could hear was his and Alec's footsteps. Neither of them had said anything about where they were going, but Axl felt that they both had the hut at the end of the North-most tunnel in mind. It had almost become their own little hideout, seeing as they had been there so often. It was their halfway point, between the Palazzo and Emma's villa.

It wasn't until they stepped out into the sunlight a while later that Axl let himself relax a little and stop listening out for Jane. She clearly wasn't following them, although he did worry about what she did have in mind.

He closed the hut door behind them and lingered there, unable to take his mind off his concern for Jane. After all, he still wanted to keep her as a friend, even if that was the farthest thing from her mind right now. Turning away from the hut, he watched Alec walk half way up the slope and sit down, draw up his knees and bury his head in them. It was a strange sight, seeing Alec show emotion like that. Then again, he reminded himself of what Alec had told him: that he did feel emotion, even if he didn't show it. It wasn't so surprising to him now, after what had just happened, that Alec could not suppress the emotion as easily as he usually did.

A moment later Axl was at his side sitting down, wincing due to the beating Jane had given him. He was no good at comforting people, really. He bit his lip awkwardly, unsure what to do other than rest his arm around Alec's shoulder and be there for him. This time he did so without regret. He had already decided that he wanted to be with him, despite everything his head was telling him. "Sorry," he spoke quietly. "I'm the reason Jane hates you. I didn't mean to create a rift between you two. This whole thing is just... fucked up. If anyone is to blame it's me." He let his head rest on the back of Alec's shoulder, unsure what else to say.

"She's being stupid, that's all," he heard Alec reply, although he did not raise his head from his knees. "What kind of girl tries to kill her boyfriend and her own brother just because her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore?"

"A psychotic one?" Axl answered, even though he could tell Alec's question hadn't needed an answer.

"That's Jane for you." Alec sighed deeply. "I just wish she would come to her senses. I didn't have a choice in this. You didn't have a choice in this. Even if we did, it most certainly would not warrant murder. She is upset, I get that, but I am worried that it has driven her crazy." He shook his head regretfully. "I hope that she can calm herself down enough to see what she is doing."

"Do you hate that I did this to you both?" Axl asked guiltily.

"Yes. No. Not really. I know that you've had a very hard time adjusting to the changes, and I for one am glad you like me. You hardly did this on purpose, just as I did not purposefully steal you away from Jane. What I do hate is that my sister cannot see that."

Axl felt Alec lifting his head and lifted his own, still feeling bad as he watched him struggle to keep his expression neutral. There was no hiding how upset he was, though.

"My own sister tortured me and tried to kill me. What the fuck am I meant to do about this?" Alec asked, looking at him with an expression that pleaded for a solution to his problems.

But Axl had no answer for him. There was no easy solution to this dilemma. He knew Jane well, and it would take her a very long time to settle over this. Instead he pulled Alec's head onto his shoulder, not knowing what else to do as he felt the silent sobs shake his body. "Sorry," he said again, unsure what else to do.

"The worst part about this is that her reasons are so _stupid_. If Leo had decided he had liked Jane instead of me, then I would have accepted it. Yes, I would not have been happy with it, but I would not have thrown a fit and wished for their deaths." Alec's hands gripped Axl's tshirt as he spoke, holding tightly.

"Did you love Leo?" Axl asked hesitantly.

He felt Alec nod into his shoulder. "I got over him, and I know how much it hurts to end a relationship with someone you love, but still, _death threats?_" He was clearly still having a hard time getting over that fact.

"I know. It's stupid," Axl tried to console him. He wrapped his arms around him tighter and nuzzled his nose against his neck, feeling bad about being unable to bring him more comfort.

"Her stupidity can do some serious damage," Alec muttered.

He felt Alec lifting his head and he lifted his head with him, keeping his nose pressed against his skin, eyes closed. There was something about the proximity that had him thinking that if his heart could still beat, it would be beating wildly. He turned his head until his nose rested lightly alongside Alec's, afraid to open his eyes but unwilling to move away. Then lightly, knowing he had to make the first move this time, he touched his bottom lip to Alec's. The spark was there, the one he had been searching for when he kissed Jane. His eyes still closed tight, he let both his lips touch upon Alec's to kiss him lightly, feeling timid. There was no going back from this point. If he was going to hate himself about anything, it was this. But that part of him seemed to have shut up for now, and as he felt Alec's hand move into his hair the kiss turned aggressive, as if he were trying to make up for all the times he had wanted to kiss him but hadn't. His hands moved around his neck and took a firm hold of his collar to pull him down on top of him as he lay down on the dirt. If he was going to overlook the part of his mind that told him 'no' and go for Alec anyway, he may as well do it right. Besides, it was a nice distraction from their troubles with Jane - if only temporary.

"Um..." Alec broke the kiss, looking shy for once. "Can we go back to your place?" he asked.

Axl nodded, feeling a little flushed. Alec stood and offered his hand to help him stand too. He took it, wearing a tiny smirk.


	20. Chapter 20

Last chapter! Woo!

**Part 20**

Axl fidgeted as he waited outside Aro's office. After nearly an entire day spent at his place, they had finally braved returning to the Palazzo so that Alec could speak to his Masters about swapping his schedule with someone else. Currently he was supposed to patrol the city three days a week, partnered up with Jane. It was clearly for the best that they swapped partners, at least until they could resolve their issues.

So far they had not run into Jane, which Axl saw as a good sign. He figured that it was highly unlikely that she would attack him and Alec right outside her Master's office. Then again, she had seemed quite psychotic lately. He didn't know what she would do.

He looked up as he heard the door open and caught sight of Alec looking paler than usual.

"What is it?" he frowned. "Did he say no?" He wouldn't have been surprised. He didn't like Aro. Never knew what he was planning or why he did the things he did.

Alec shook his head. "Jane's gone," he said weakly, then cleared his throat.

_Shit_, Axl thought rather than saying it out loud, mindful of his behaviour lessons. "Where? Did Aro say anything else?"

"Only that she still has to return if he ever calls upon her services. That could be once every twenty years for all I know." He had forced his voice to be calm, but Axl could still pick out where it wavered. "She came to him yesterday, after we left and told him she wanted to quit. I... I never thought she would go this far." He sighed and headed down the hallway, Axl following. "Her loyalty to her coven is supposed to be her first priority, then you. Not the other way around. What have you done, Jane?"

As they reached Jane's bedroom, downstairs and several hallways away from Aro's office, Alec pushed open the door to reveal an empty room. They furniture was still there, and so were quite a few of her possessions, neat and tidy as if they had been cleaned by a hotel maid. But all her most personal items were gone, including - Axl found as he opened the wardrobe doors - a decent chunk of her clothing.

"What now?" he asked, even more worried than before. "Are we going to go after her?" He had a tracker at his disposal in his friend Emma, and he knew that Alec could seek help from Demetri.

"No." Alec shook his head and sank onto the sofa. It was the same sofa Axl had 'woken' on yesterday after being covered by the mist. The torn arm was for the most part healed, barely a thin line of a scar left, and for the most part the pain from Jane's beating had faded.

"I know your loyalty to your coven is supposed to be first and all," he said, sitting next to Alec and taking his hand, "but your real first is to Jane, isn't it?"

"It is," Alec replied, looking troubled as his head sank onto Axl's shoulder. "And she would always claim that her loyalty was to me first, then to the Volturi, then to you. So much for that." He sighed deeply. "I am still loyal to her, but I do not think my leaving to find her would be for the best. She needs to come back in her own time. In the meantime I can ask my brother Demetri for regular updates on her whereabouts."

"What do you want me to do then?" Axl asked, wanting to help.

"Stay with me. I may be deprived of a sister, but I will not let you deprive me of a boyfriend too. Besides, if I let you go in search of her, she might actually kill you." He lifted his head and Axl could see a slight smirk on his lips as if he were joking, but his eyes told that he was serious.

"I'll stay," he replied in earnest, and gave Alec a small kiss before letting him rest his head on his shoulder again. They would see Jane again eventually. She would get over his relationship with Alec. He would get over it too, eventually. He was adjusting to it already.

His eyes passed over the familiar objects in Jane's room, missing her already. It was too bad friendship had been out of question for her. "She'll come back," he said stubbornly, because he could not let himself be the reason the twins would never see each other again.

Alec sighed next to his ear. "I know."

**The end**

**So, I haven't asked for reviews the whole way throughout the fic, but if you have read this far, now is the time to tell me how I did. I don't care if you send in 1 word or a thousand, I just want to know what you think.**


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